Eli Manning Revealed The Ways Peyton Would Bully Him As A Child And ‘Obscure’ Is The Right Word


For those of you bros who grew up with brothers, you understand that the sole purpose God put you on this earth is to fuck with them. I grew up with two brothers and there wasn’t one waking moment when we weren’t trying to get under each others skin or utterly humiliate one another. We used to try break in on each other whacking the willy while banging pots and pans together. The look of utter disgrace and dishevelment while on the victims face while I rowdily invaded his quiet time was well worth catching a glimpse of my brother’s hog.

I’m just now realizing how fucked up that was. Just forget I wrote that.

But I do feel a bit better about my childhood antics after hearing the ways Peyton used to beat up on his younger brother of four years.

Eli appeared on Pro Football Talk  to reveal Peyton’s go-to bullying technique:

“You know they were pretty nice to me,” Eli said. “I think the biggest thing they did, mostly Peyton because you know Cooper is older than him, [Cooper] would pick on [Peyton]. So I come along, I’m gonna take it. So [Peyton] would pin me down, you know, put his knees on my arms. He’d just start knocking on my chest until I named at the time the 28 teams in the NFL. So I got smart eventually I could rip those off pretty quickly. We went college divisions, different things and then if he just wanted to make me cry he’d say, ‘Name ten brands of cigarettes.’ I’m like, ‘I’m seven years old I haven’t started smoking cigarettes quite yet,’ but that’s when I’d just start yelling for mom.”

This bullying is JV as shit. Not one mention of a penis. Lame.

[h/t Pro Football Talk]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.