Ezekiel Elliott Explains What’s Wrong With The Dallas Cowboys And Cowboys Fans Don’t Want To Hear It

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(Why is it that every picture I see of Jason Garrett and a player, it looks like the two are in an unhappy arranged marriage that Garrett is way more invested in making work?)

The Dallas Cowboys have lost 6 of their last 9 games (not nice) after starting 3-0 and sure don’t look like a team that belongs at the top of any division, even the despicable, deplorable, no good, dumpster fire that is the NFC East.

A huge reason for the Cowboys underachieving thus far this season, aside from questionable coaching tactics, is the lack of production from All-Pro running back and $90 million man Ezekiel Elliott.

If the Cowboys were winning, we’d point to how Zeke only needs 10 yards Thursday against the Bears to reach 1,000 yards for the third time in four years, becoming the only running back to achieve that during that span (he was only 17 yards shy of 1,000 in 2017 and missed six games).

Butttt, since the Cowboys are losing, it’s easy to point to the fact that Zeke hasn’t recorded a 100-yard in four straight games. The last time this happened was in 2013 when he was a true freshman at Ohio State behind Carlos Hyde.

After the 26-15 loss to Buffalo, Ezekiel Elliott said the team was “pissed off” and when asked what is wrong with the Dallas Cowboys, he responded with this:

Cowboys fans proved to be very impatient with this answer:

https://twitter.com/costanza237/status/1201234778680254465?s=20
https://twitter.com/JosephAbalos80/status/1201286841909030915?s=20

https://twitter.com/Michael85173877/status/1201234823668490240?s=20

If the Cowboys don’t pull out a win on the road Thursday, Jason Garrett will need to go into witness protection.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.