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Bros, the holidays are almost upon us. The holidays are one of my favorite times of year, and for good reason. There isn’t another time of year where you can be a gluttonous fuck and eat yourself into a coma. The holiday season is perfect for that.
I love wearing elastic waistbands because I’m a lazy fuck and do everything in my power to never leave my apartment. The holidays are perfect for this because elastic just continues stretching.
Every now and then I like to get dressed up. And when I do, putting on my fat pants just plain sucks.
Lets say you’re a bit tired of buying fat pants every holiday season though. I get you. Buying fat pants sucks, and you can’t exactly wear elastic waistbands everywhere unless you’re a lazy piece of shit like myself.
So you need some fat loss help this holiday season. Here’s how.
- Intermittent fasting
I’ve written a few times on the benefits of IF that you can check out here, but you’re probably too lazy to do that. So here’s what you need to know: Intermittent fasting functions as a way to limit the number of hours in a day in which you’re taking in calories.
This works well when it comes to fat loss because it’s pretty fucking difficult to squeeze 3,000+ calories in during only 8 hours of eating. It also forces you to feed on stored body fat during your fasting periods, so you wind up leaner.
Fasting can be pretty fucking difficult if you’ve never tried it before, so take it slow. Don’t jump straight into a 16 or 24 hour fast. Instead, try to push your fasting window to roughly 12 hours, and slowly work up from there.
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- Metabolic finishers
I’m a big fan of metabolic finishers, and ironically, I’ve written about them as well. Metabolic finishers are one of the greatest ways you can accelerate fat loss, and with minimal actual effort.
At the end of every workout, spend 10-15 minutes performing a high intensity metabolic session. This will send your heart rate through the roof, burn through a metric fuck ton of calories, and help you melt off fat for hours.
It should be noted that metabolic finishers are really popular, but hardly ever done well. Your heart rate should be really fucking high during this session, like 80+% of your max heart rate. It’s not uncommon to feel like you’re dying.
- Know how much you should actually be eating, and eat that much.
I swear if I spend any more time on the Internet with people who argue that calories don’t fucking matter I’m going to gladly jump out of this plane I’m on right now and consider it a solid choice, because I won’t be sharing the Earth with jackasses anymore.
Calories matter. Where they come from matters. It all fucking matters. It’s that simple.
The biggest key to making sure you don’t become a fat ass this holiday season is making sure you’re not consistently eating too many calories. If you’re eating at maintenance, or a little less, then massive blow outs for Thanksgiving and Christmas aren’t going to hurt your progress at all. Not one single bit.
People gain fat over the holidays because they use this month and a half long period as an excuse to eat like a complete jackass. Don’t. We’re all adults here.
If you’re unsure how much you should be eating, conveniently I’ve got a post on that for you. Head on over, figure that number out, and eat that much.
Have a happy holidays bros.