The Mom Of That Hot Warriors Fan Thirstin For Steph Curry Last Night Has Weighed In And Please Help Me Translate

By now, you bros have likely seen this chick who went viral for wearing a skin-tight Warriors colored cocktail dress to a basketball game and giving sneaky ‘fuck me’ eyes to number 30. It may have been the only lasting takeaway from a Game 2 that was more lopsided than a boob job surgically performed by Ray Charles. Well, after the photo went viral, the internet did its job and identified the foxy fan as Instagram fitness model Roni Rose. There wasn’t one person on the planet that didn’t believe that Roni was thinking about riding Curry’s MVP sausage on center court right then and there.

Except one. Roni’s mother. Mom commented on her daughter’s Instagram photo of the screenshot, which has amassed close to 10,000 comments.

Yo momma slow down on the cocaine and finish a complete thought. Christ. I don’t know why Oklahoma popped up into this rambling but then again my brain almost hemorrhaged before finishing the longest run on sentence in human history.

And about that boyfriend….

[h/t Terez Owens]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.