How To Lose Your Dad Bod, Because This Fad Is Probably Going To Be Over Soon
Dads are the ultimate bro’s. They’ve lived life, enjoyed some cool shit which is always cooler when they look back on it than it actually was, and they’ve fathered little bro versions of themselves. Dads should be celebrated. For their body? I’m not sure about all that?
Say you found yourself with a dad bod. You were just cruising along, semi chubby, until one day the internet exploded in celebration of your extra fluff and 12oz curls. Which is awesome, because yay body acceptance.
Except what if you wanted to look less like Leo and more like Leonidas?
Maybe every Bro out there who rocks a dad bod, doesn’t actually want to live with that dad bod for the rest of their life? Good news, bro. You don’t have to keep your dad bod forever, and with a little work you can actually get rid of it for good.
The dad bod is defined as someone who goes to the gym a couple of times every week, and they don’t really care about their diet. Proud owners of a dad bod don’t worry about veggies, because pizza that has mushrooms contains veggies, and last I checked with the government – French fries are vegetables as well.
But when trying to get rid of a dad bod, that shit won’t fly. Sure, it’s been a fun ride getting to a dad bod. But now that you want to get rid of it, you need to ramp up the intensity a bit, and put the 12oz curls on maintenance.
The best workouts you can do to get rid of a dad bod are full body workouts. I’ve written about how badass full body workouts can be here, but I’ll give you lazy bastards a quick rundown:
- Full body workouts are highly metabolic, meaning they burn a ton of calories.
- Full body workouts hit multiple muscle groups at once, making them effective at building strength and burning calories.
- You don’t have to spend 6 days a week in the gym, so you can keep something close to your current gym schedule going.
If you’re currently rocking a dad bod that you want to get rid of, chill out on arm day, and start doing full body work. Especially with a focus on deadlifts, squats, pressing, and pulling. Full body workouts alone won’t get you out of the dad bod fat suit though. You’ve got to add in some cardio.
Cardio sucks. Sucks really bad. But damn it, it works. Especially when someone is trying to lose fat. Does trying to get rid of your dad bod mean you need to start doing 2 hours of cardio a day? Don’t be ridiculous.
Instead start off with about 30 minutes of cardio after each full body workout. Ideally use something like the bike, with a higher level of resistance. Lord knows you probably need the leg work after all those leg days you skipped.
Once you’ve done that for 3-4 weeks, start incorporating intervals on the bike, or hill sprints. Incorporating these on top of your full body workouts means that each workout has a major metabolic cost, and you’ll be burning through a ton of calories. That doesn’t do any good if you don’t start watching how many calories you eat, and drink.
Dude’s trying to get rid of the dad bod have got to start watching what they eat. Which is like the least dad thing ever, except if you care about your health and looking good for your lady – which I think most Bro dads do.
This means for 6-8 weeks swapping out all your pizza for salad, bread for vegetables, and laying off the pasta. Three in the morning, taco induced, butt piss? That’s a thing of the past. I love tacos just as much as the next dude, but I don’t love the calories or the explosive diarrhea that come with it.
You need to eat fewer overall calories, and especially junk carbs, because dads excel at eating refined carbs.
You’ll also need to cut back on the beer consumption. This isn’t a joke. Beer is easily 100 calories per can or bottle, even if you’re drinking the light stuff. And don’t try to say you only drink Michelob Ultra. If that’s the case you’ve got bigger problems than a dad bod. Like the lack of a penis.
I’m not saying you need to stop drinking all together. I’m just saying it’d be wise to switch to hard liquor, with as few mixers as possible. The good news? Whiskey is definitely a dad drink, and you can drink way less of it to get the same effect.
All in all getting rid of your dad bad can be done with a few minor tweaks, and some patience. While some of you may celebrate having a dad bod, and more power to you, there are plenty of bro’s out there who want to put off looking like a dad for as long as possible. Or at least until the sexless, sleep deprived, child driven world has forced them to look like that.