You Can’t Unsee John Cena Unnecessarily Censored As ‘John Obscena’

What a long, strange trip it’s been for John Cena. The Franchise started his career as a filthy rapper performing moves like the STFU and the FU. Then, “The Doctor of Thuganomics” evolved into a squeaky clean, family friendly, military man doing stuff like stopping matches to congratulate a fan’s successful marriage proposal and making a 7-year-old cancer survivor’s night.

Now, there have been some rumors that he’ll turn heel upon his return from a shoulder injury that required surgery. We thought we’d get back to Cena’s ruder roots and unnecessarily censor him just like “This Week In Unnecessary Censorship” on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

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In a recent interview with Rolling Stone, Cena stated he doesn’t want kids and doesn’t want marriage, despite being with Nikki Bella for years. In that same article, John also said that he missed the blood and profanity of WWE’s Attitude Era. All those signs sure point to Cena coming back as a ruthless villain, which would ironically win over a lot of older fans.

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That’s the crazy legacy¬†of John Cena – he’s supposed to be a beloved ‘face’ but he’s only loved by kids and booed by bros. He’s even getting disrespected by a NASCAR reporter at Daytona 500. But, even with most men thinking Cena is corny, we can’t deny how much of a beast he is. Dude can squat 600 pounds. His bench press is close to setting an NFL Combine record, and his rehab is way ahead of schedule. And, he’s given us some of the best matches in WWE history. Bring back the sick lyrics, ObsCena. Word life!