Twitter is the closest most of us will ever come to experience what it was like to say the wrong thing at a saloon in the Wild West only to find yourself surrounded by a mob of angry strangers intent on making sure you never make the same mistake again.
Most people would only have to be metaphorically tied naked to a cactus next to a nest of fire ants as the desert sun beats down on them a single time before they learn their lesson. However, there are plenty of masochists on Twitter who seemingly need to piss people off like the rest of us need air to breathe and there is perhaps no one on the platform who’s a bigger glutton for punishment than Darren Rovell.
If the internet didn’t exist, I can only assume Rovell would spend his days roaming around the country and knocking on doors to ask people if they’ve accepted sports business as their Lord and Savior and spreading the good word of how much the New York Mets have paid Bobby Bonilla since he rang their doorbell.
Instead, Rovell spends most of his waking hours on Twitter, where the nerdy factoids that helped him build his brand are supplemented with the idiotic takes that have come to define it. He’s been owned countless times over the years thanks to his inability to stop himself from tweeting things he probably didn’t have to, whether he’s trying to assert Manti Te’o ‘s fake girlfriend was the biggest sports story of the 2010s or drawing a truly absurd parallel between CTE and COVID-19 that resulted in Kyle Long telling him to “eat shit.”
Now, another former NFL player has shoved Rovell back into the locker he’s been routinely stuffed into since joining the platform in the form of Johnny Manziel, who was the subject of a tweet the reporter sent out on Wednesday.
SI covers, seven years ago today:@AROD is at rock bottom. Johnny Manziel is the envy of the college football world.
Today, A-Rod is as relevant as ever. Manziel achieves a flash of relevance by flipping off a building into a pool. pic.twitter.com/tAlLWHjgRf
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) August 5, 2020
Four years ago, Rovell went to check in on the embattled QB only to find out he’d been blocked but it appears Johnny Football had a change of heart at some point, but based on his reply to the largely unsolicited shot fired his way, it wouldn’t be a huge shock if he blocks him yet again.
Seven years later and you’re still as big of a bitch as ever https://t.co/fWXv2u8wzj
— Johnny Manziel (@JManziel2) August 5, 2020
Was it a fairly childish retort? Absolutely, but I am always down to watch Rovell get dunked on —especially after a lame tweet like that one. However, it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise when you consider Rovell’s long and storied history of throwing shade at Manziel on the cesspool that is Twitter dot com, as these are just a small sample of the many times he’s wallowed in the misery of the draft bust.
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) July 8, 2016
721 Days Apart: Johnny Manziel is a #1 draft pick, Johnny Manziel is out of work, watching draft at bar pic.twitter.com/zT67944DWu
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) April 29, 2016
$7,707,913: What Browns paid Johnny Manziel for a career of 8 TDs, 7 INTs
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) March 11, 2016
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) January 7, 2016
Jesus, Darren. Who hurt you? It doesn’t take a genius to realize that Johnny Football has dealt with plenty of personal issues since his college days, and while I think people should be accountable for their actions, that doesn’t mean you have to go and dump all over the guy for no reason for eternity.
Thankfully, Rovell keeps giving us new reasons to dump on him and I will gladly seize every single opportunity.