Journalist Tries To Recreate Cristiano Ronaldo’s World-Class Bicycle Kick, Ends Up In A Cast

Emilio Andreoli/Getty Images


By now, even non-soccer (sorry, dick: *futbol) fans have seen Cristiano Ronaldo’s insane bicycle kick goal against Juventus last week in the Champions League. Some are calling it one of the best goals of all-time, second only to Juan Morales’ strike in The Big Green. 

https://twitter.com/w3_sports/status/981297858987966464

Obviously, Ronaldo is a world-class athlete and us average joes who get tired walking up a flight of steps shouldn’t attempt such a stunt. Not even with a mattress laid down as a buffer. Why, you ask? Well lets see how it goes for Argentinian journalist Manuel Sanchez.

Google knows more about me than I know about myself but it can’t accurately translate shit. Here is the caption based on Google:

# Accident🤕 He wanted to do the great @Cristiano and ended up baaaad !!!! @ nolosanchez12 we love you and we make you endurance. Is there plaster or is there no plaster?
Everything was by the keys of the day of @marianomcardarelli 🚑🚑🚑
Clarification: authorized me to publish it while we go by ambulance !!!

Funny, absolutely. But I feel for Manuel Sanchez here. Those of you who have been in a cast in professional life knows how much it sucks. I got my ass beat outside a bar in Boston and fractured by leg (pro tip: if you’re drunk enough, you don’t feel it) in the summer of 2012 and rocked a cast into the office for six weeks. If the logistical challenges of mobilizing don’t drive you into a straight jacket, the endless ‘what happened’ questions will.

Get well, pal.

[h/t Busted Coverage]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.