Kevin Durant Woke Up At 6 AM In Tokyo To Blast Troll Who Said Kyrie Needs A Better Team

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The phrase “woke up and chose violence” is teetering on “savage” levels of overuse, but leave it to Very Online Guy Kevin Durant to leave me no choice. Color me shocked.

Durant, who America is counting on to secure Gold in Tokyo, woke up Wednesday morning and got 1,000 shots up mocked the socioeconomic stature of his trolls.

In a now deleted tweet, a Twitter user who is too cowardly to stand by his barbs, wrote: “Kyrie needs a better team around him.”

Durant rolled over at 6 am Toyko time, the morning after ravaging Iran 120-66, and delivered a retort:

Floor to ceiling windows. Plush carpet. Chic minimalist vibe. Trying to figure out how this is a burn, but I don’t make the rules.

The United States will take on the Czech Republic this Saturday at 8 am, three hours after Durant sends his first Twitter burn to a 15-year-old 3,500 miles away.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.