This Kid Who Sat Through All 18 Innings Of The Pirates’ Game Yesterday Also Rode The World’s Longest Emotional Rollercoaster

First and foremost, I’m sitting over here floored that the officials let this Pirates game go for 18 innings. I mean, I get that umpires can’t fix games but also, yes they can. I won’t tell. Especially against the Nationals. They already lost the first two games of the series. No one would lose sleep if they happened to lose game 3 as well. You know who did lose sleep? Me, watching this game. Sunday’s are nap days. But I can’t be crushing naps if I have to stay up and watch an entire 18 inning baseball game.

Thank fuck for Starling Marte. If that game had gone much longer, I would have needed to get more beer. You think I’m watching baseball on a Sunday without beer? What do you think this is? In my defense, I wasn’t the only one suffering through the game yesterday. This kid rode the entire emotional roller coaster that is life yesterday whilst watching the game.

The kid’s just out here living. He needed a win and he got one. Really, we all won with this one. Sure, the Nats lost, but it’s only one game. They’ll bounce back. The Pirates needed that one. The kid needed that one. That one was for America. Thank you, Pittsburgh. Thank you from America.