Kobe Bryant’s Very Low Ranking On Bleacher Report’s 50 Best All-Time Player List Is Borderline Trolling

by 11 months ago

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We are literally just one day removed from ESPN ranking Klay Thompson as just the 49th best player in the NBA. Yes, 52 points in 27 minutes. That Klay.

I really didn’t want to do this again.

But Bleacher Report has released its list of NBA’s 50 Best All-Time Players, and while this list was destined to spark more controversy than agreements, there are a few glaring, head-scratching, what the fuck choices.

While Bleacher Report admits to the criteria being mostly subjective, it did consider a loose criteria:

Catch-all metrics like box plus/minus (available from the 1973-74 season on) and win shares per 48 minutes came into play. And you’ll see pace- and playing-time-adjusted numbers (in the form of “per 75 possessions”). But intangibles have to be factored into these conversations, as well.

I can fucks with most of the list. But then there’s this.

Steph Curry above Kobe all-time?? Kobe may be cool with it???…

Do you know who this meddling ranking pleases very much? Shaq, the NBA’s #6 all-time player, according to the report.

I cannot imagine what small young girl Kobe is making do suicides until she pukes because of this shameful snub, but I send her my strength.

Pray for the Little Mambas.

Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.

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