Kyrie Irving’s Bizarre Instagram Rants Only Makes Sense If You’ve Just Eaten A Fistful Of Mushrooms

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What is happening when Kyrie Irving becomes a free agent on July 1? Will he be packaged with Kevin Durant and shipped to the Knicks? Will the Nets make a play for him by dealing D’Angelo Russell? Will he move to Hawaii, change his name to Kunu, start wearing seashell necklaces and throw a “Coexist” bumper sticker on the back of his Vespa?

Given his recent social media activity, I’d be willing to guess Kyrie is more likely to join a beach volleyball team in Kahului than a professional basketball team.

The 27-year-old introvert is evidently more interested in finding a connection with the universe than a connection with teammates. His latest Instagram posts have also inspired me to connect with his mushroom guy.

https://www.instagram.com/p/ByNwaOJH41d/

The caption:

Hermetic Friends, Inc.
My light Brothers and Sisters! The age of No More Secrets is upon us. World Peace will be achieved in our life time and we better Effin believe it! Let them have the fabricated bull****. That genuine love and energy spreads all over the world. Eye see all.
I AM

Gotta love KD pretending to know what the fuck Kyrie is talking about.

“Stay off tha weeeed.” Corinthians 3:16

Wait, we ain’t done.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BvYD-erlPwX/

My Intuitive Truth: I am grateful for my time capsule on this Motherly Earth. I am grateful I am constantly in search for more knowledge about life, the world, and myself. I am Learning the Purpose I have in this Universe. I will only use it for greatness. I Look up and look within, there are angels, guiding spirits, and synchronicities all around me. I Awaken to the beauty of growth and patience. I Love and Live freely. Happiness is inside.
27, stamp it!! Mom I love you. To my family 🔺👁Power is inside.

“Sir, I asked if you wanted a refill.”