LeBron James Is Threatening To Do A Music Album And The Internet Is An Unforgiving Place

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“Damn, I swear sports and music are so synonymous / Cause we want to be them, and they want to be us.” -Drake 

No one is a bigger advocate for player empowerment than me.

I read 38 pages of Jared Dudley’s new book and consistently click the link in bio of pro boxer Jake Paul.

But if LeBron James is going to release a music album before participating in a Slam Dunk Contest, we finally have proof that basketball gods do not exist.

“You were so preoccupied with whether or not you could, you didn’t stop to think if you should.”

Please God give me the blind confidence to listen to Illmatic and immediately think, “Why not me?”

I’ll never be the one to tell a grown man worth $1 billion how to live his life, but if LeBron James starts a trend where guys Nikola Jokic are releasing Serbian folk albums, bring back Slam Ball because the NBA is dead to me.

It appears I’m not the only one.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I just had a delicious bowl of spaghetti and meatballs and my flight to Italy to become a world-renowned chef leaves in an hour. Arrivederci!

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.