This Portly Manchester United Fan Dancing In The Stands Like No One Is Watching Has To Be On Molly

Wearing headphones to a sporting event is a savage move in itself. But wearing headphones to a sporting event and then dancing by yourself with no discernible dance moves is something I can only attribute to eating a boulder of molly. I love how at the 25 second mark, the dude tries to cramp his style. Mista Steal Yo Girl could not be bothered. Completely unaffected. Doesn’t give a fuck what you or I think. A man like this doesn’t play by our rules. He’s thinks he’s a goddamn legend and frankly I can’t prove otherwise.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.