Mets Pitcher Jenrry Mejia Officially Struck Himself Outta’ The MLB

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The dude’s officially struck himself out. Mets Pitcher Jenrry Mejia has me thinking its time for the young, roid-riddled Buck of a ballplayer to enlist in some intensive Steroid rehab. Like bro, this the third time. You’d think the whole, don’t inject yourself with performance-enhancing substances that for all we know contain strains of whacked out shit like distilled yeti-piss or goat sperm, would’ve taken by now. But no. No, apparently making millions from the mound wasn’t enough. Maybe he was trying to ascend new heights, break the goddamn barrier, and launch a fastball 120mph or something? Either way the facts are as follows:

Mejia was suspended for 80 games by the MLB after testing positive for Stanazolol last April, and then took a quick pitstop thereafter down 162-game suspension lane three months later when he tested positive for Stanazolol and Boldenone. Today marks the failures third fail for testing positive for Boldenone.

You gotta give it to the dumbass, he was bold enough to go where no one’s gone before. As is called for under the MLB’s stricter PED policy, Mejia’s been smacked upside the ignorant, rule-breaking head with a lifetime ban from playing rejoining the MLB.

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