Either ESPN’s studio is hotter than a two dollar pistol or Michael Irvin just snorted all the cocaine in San Juarez because he was wetter than an otter’s pocket on the latest episode of First Take.
The three-time Super Bowl champion was nearly drown in his own sweat when debating the resolve of the Dallas Cowboys with Stephen A. Smith.
I’ve posted the entire seven-minute segment below, but if you want to avoid a panic attack, let me summarize each analysts argument.
Stephen A. Smith: The Dallas Cowboys are certainly not Super Bowl contenders simply because they beat the Eagles 37-10. They have won like three playoff games since Irvin suited up in 1995.
Michael Irvin: THE 4-3 COWBOYS ARE THE BEST TEAM TO EVER PLAY THE GAME BECAUSE THEY ARE CURRENTLY IN FIRST PLACE IN THE NFC EAST (a conference with the Giants and Redskins) AND ALSO DOES ANYONE HAVE A CIGARETTE.
Eventually, Molly Qerim did God’s work by demanding that someone bring Irvin a towel and maybe an interventionist.
The internet was genuinely concerned about Irvin’s sweating problem. Just kidding, the swam in his saline.
“Sweating like a Rotisserie chicken” is fucking hilarious.
Thought and prayers go out to Michael Irvin’s undershirt. Had a good run.