With three full NFL Sundays under our belt, it’s more than fair to say we’ve been given pretty some stellar play on the field, save for the Thursday Night Football “showdown” between the Dolphins and the Jags and the terrifying existence of the NFC East.
Then again, we were gifted this.
Ryan Fitzpatrick is wearing THAT shirt with SWEATPANTS.
We don’t deserve him. pic.twitter.com/zuFaXHSO5y
— Zach Dean (@ZachDeanDBNJ) September 25, 2020
As for the rest of the games, records were even broken. A very sad one, naturally done so by the Browns. Even when it’s good, it’s bad.
This is the single most depressing statistic I have ever seen in my life. pic.twitter.com/ButFrTP2Uc
— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) September 27, 2020
And it’s been pretty amazing in general to see what Joe Burrow’s been doing, especially when you take into consideration he had zero preseason games to get into any kind of rhythm and what had to be a bizarre training camp experience.
IS JOE BURROW FOR REAL? pic.twitter.com/UP4dG7HVVw
— Warren Sharp (@SharpFootball) September 27, 2020
Most importantly, he keeps getting up after what seems to be roughly three murders a quarter. Unbelievable.
Joe Burrow being evaluated after this hit pic.twitter.com/ZulZCj614w
— Warren Sharp (@SharpFootball) September 27, 2020
Random Note: Only one more week of all teams on deck and then we run into the always dreaded BYE SZN.
But that’s enough of that chatter for now. Without further ado — whether it’s fire, fierce, funny or fail — let’s get this shit crackin’ like when The Rock layeth down the smackin’.
UPDATE: MNF Players Added!
The scariest thing for the NFL might be that Patrick Mahomes is taking an even more professional, THIS IS F’ING ALL BUSINESS approach this season. The only thing I can say to that is GOOD LUCK.
— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) September 29, 2020
Sometimes less is more and what Lamar has done here is the perfect example of just that. Absolutely flawless.
Black on gold and black on gold and black on gold and… you get the point. Another can’t miss look. If it’s a black on gold look, you’re all set. Now best of luck getting this kind of gold.
Who would’ve thought Julian Edelman of all people was a bigger fan of Christmas Vacation than anyone roaming earth? Incredible tribute, though a bit early. But no Julia Louis-Dreyfus? We gotta fix that.
Tyrod Taylor is a 31-year-old relatively mediocre quarterback with cracked ribs and a collapsed lung and he already lives in Los Angeles, so why not call it day and get that acting career going even it means starting out with some guest gigs on General Hospital with Stephen A. Smith and working his way from there? No-brainer. And you’re welcome.
This honestly feels like Derrick Henry is subtly or not so subtly conveying to Cam that he is, in fact, Superman. And he wouldn’t be wrong. Or maybe he’s Captain America. Or maybe he’s being patriotic trying to unite the country. Or maybe it’s just a flashy suit. Whatever it is, let’s check in on Cam, the self-proclaimed Superman.
UPDATE: Would like to humbly suggest this exact outfit for King Henry next week. This was likely already on the table anyway, so go get that shit done. (You’d never guess it, but I actually own this t-shirt.) #MachoKing
The Patriot Way hasn’t stopped Cam from being Cam and that’s a wonderful thing. I would wear that hat to Easter brunch or an outdoor wedding in a heartbeat. And then, well then there were Cam’s exceedingly well-done cleats. Having Superman grab Darth Vader’s soon-to-be devoured head was a prescient sight as the Pats beat the Raiders 36-20.
— New Orleans Saints (@Saints) September 28, 2020
To continue with the heat theme, check out Drew Brees!!! Sweet jesus. Can’t stop, won’t stop.
On the other side of the solar system lives Dak Prescott, who’s still holding on to those summer colors and doing it quite exceptionally. And check out Zeke doin’ the same, although I have no idea why the Cowboys would stuff him into a collage like that. As is customary, blame the coaching.
— Dallas Cowboys (@dallascowboys) September 27, 2020
UPDATE: There it is. That’s on point.
The Houston Texans are a baffling 0-3 but you’d never know it.
Ravens offensive lineman D.J Fluker stands 6’5 and weighs 340 even though it seems like he’s 7’5 and weighs 440. The man is a GIANT and a lovable one at that. And he loves this outfit as much as I do because here he is late last season arriving for a game as a member of the Seahawks. Consistency is everything, I just miss the shades.
— Tim Ryan (@TheSportsHernia) December 30, 2019
How about a big fella following a big fella who’s on the other side of the line? Well, that’s what we’re doing here because it must be appreciated that it is NO easy feat to accomplish such a look on a guy like Chris Jones, yet Gentleman’s Playbook does it on a weekly basis. One look at his IG page is all it takes to provide the hard evidence.
"His size, his quickness, his elusiveness, his hands, everything. Mike's one of the great receivers in the NFL."
— Tampa Bay Buccaneers (@Buccaneers) September 28, 2020
Man, these Zoom press conferences, or whatever you wanna call them, are killing Tom Brady, who used to be the postgame maestro nearly every week of the season.
Without knowing football, one might look at this photo and innocently think, “ohhh that’s the guy who gives water to the punter when he’s tired.” Not sure how Baker Mayfield remains in one piece every week, especially since there are bodies dropping left and right on every team.
Then there’s Baker’s teammate Myles Garrett, who is about to devour players much larger than Baker for a cool 60 minutes and walk out just as gleefully happy as he walked in.
First off, his name is not CEH it’s Glyde. His own Twitter handle would tell you so. And yes, just three games into his NFL career he’s not only already a member of The Running Back Club, he should probably be one of the spokesmen.
When it comes to DeAndre Hopkins sometimes you just gotta say “well OK.” Somehow, someway, those pants look completely normal on him.
Meanwhile, it’s worth noting that D-Hop’s teammate Patrick Peterson put Paulie Walnuts and his entire jumpsuit collection in a headlock after strolling up to the stadium in this fit.
Let’s keep it going with the Cardinals because this team definitely has some range. Now please enjoy Kyler Murray in his romper/non-romper. NOTE: It’s clearly a shirt and shorts but if you’re going this route it might as well be a romper because everyone’s gonna call it a romper.
Sam Darnold on Adam Gase and the Jets' coaching staff:
"We've been put in great positions to go out there and succeed, to execute a game plan that's been put together perfectly for us" pic.twitter.com/AW9uKhhOOL
— Jets Videos (@snyjets) September 27, 2020
An already unhinged Sam Darnold is gonna be looking like a young version of Harrison Ford in The Fugitive in a few weeks. SAVE THIS MAN.
Check out the preview of videos on the @snyjets page. Just classic. Sammy’s gettin’ upset!
You’re god damn right Shaun, the widely beloved Scarf SZN is finally upon us but I believe what we have right here is the most expensive neck gaiter on the planet. I’d expect nothing less from Russ and his Derek Zoolander ways.
UPDATE: Yes, yes it is.
— Seattle Seahawks (@Seahawks) September 27, 2020
The rebirth, rebrand, Hanes-be-damned relaunch continues on for Aaron Rodgers, who now has a semblance of style and whose Packers are 3-0 and scoring at will. I’m as stunned as you are.
Aaron Jones is still the one and only sombrero king of the NFL, going with a heavy tilt, some shades, and no lack of chain depth. It’s become such a part of him I wouldn’t recognize him off the field without it. Now if the other Aaron, No. 12, shows up to the stadium in a sombrero we’ll know for sure he’s simply experiencing a midlife crisis and the Packers will fall into a deep skid. Nonetheless, Aaron Jones remains amazing.
— Green Bay Packers (@packers) September 27, 2020
It’s only three weeks in and Joe Burrow knows damn well what he’s walking into and that he’ll be in an ice bath for the next six days.
The team has arrived in Baltimore 📸
— Kansas City Chiefs (@Chiefs) September 27, 2020
Harrison Butker serves as the Chiefs kicker as well as one of the most upstanding and respectable limo drivers in the biz.
This is what I’m gonna call Triple Heat, starring the doctor of charisma, Kirk Cousins. And…
Big Ben. Simply outstanding. And of course…
Merrill Lynch Matty steppin’ out like it’s a casual Friday. Nothing like it!
A Mitch sighting! Just in time too, as he lost his job on Sunday. At least for now.
Stefon Diggs has been much quieter on IG during his first year in Buffalo than he has been in the past — and that makes sense — but here he is sporting a “No Limit” records baseball jersey and some AJ Bred 11s. In the 2nd photo of this IG gallery, though, he appears to be buying some Twinkies or maybe some Entenmann’s shit? No idea, but ya’ just never know what to expect.
Daniel Jones on his turnover issues:
"I need to do a better job. Those are costly mistakes that I need to correct" pic.twitter.com/rGXRUJzXDq
— Giants Videos (@SNYGiants) September 27, 2020
My god, the freeze-frames on these Giants videos tell the whole story. Deer In Headlights Danny should 100% replace Danny Dimes until we see something that proves otherwise. Love the outfit, which really strays from his traditional white-guy-who-went-to-Duke look.
"We obviously got beat, but that first half we started really fast"
Leonard Williams says the Giants have positives to take away from the first three weeks of the season: pic.twitter.com/pdwZMfGl01
— Giants Videos (@SNYGiants) September 27, 2020
Leonard Williams looks like he would rather be fighting off a starved pit of alligators than standing there answering those questions. Can hardly blame him.
Devin “Motor” Singletary living up to his name as only he can. What a tremendous t-shirt, which can be had right here for… $45 PLUS shipping? Oh but you get ConnectLife Koozies and a ConnectLife bottle opener! Sold.
The caption is as fiery as his getup. No surprise there. #GoJJGo #KeepKillingIt
It took three weeks for the Lions social media team to deliver but we finally have a Matthew Stafford appearance, and how exciting is that? I know, I know.
Marvin Jones Jr.
Matty’s teammate, Marvin Jones Jr., should really be sharing some tips with QB1. Because, damn, that is clean, clean, clean. Would be nice if Danny Amendola also threw in a tip or two. After all, Matty is the guy deciding where the ball goes (most of the time).
Marlon always brings the heat, plain and simple.
Odell Beckham Jr.
When this was first shown on TV, I assumed OBJ was sporting some classic throwback concert tee but it’s apparently a Browns t-shirt mixing the fonts of like three different bands? Works for me. Tell us where to get one, Cleveland.
Carson Wentz, Zach Ertz & Jason Kelce
Worst. Album Cover. Ever.
Don’t much about 31-year-old Bengals DE Mike Daniels but he has instantly vaulted to the top of the Cool People In The NFL list.
Well, it’s not that exciting although the backup QB did go off for 343 yards with the Niners Z team to beat the Giants handily. The hope is we’ll see a little more range than the latest from the J. Crew catalog, should Mullens continue to start.
Like this, for example, from teammate Kwon Alexader. This is the kind of pop any starting player should be striving for.
Jacoby Brissett has a grand total of 2 completions for 17 yards yet he’s still dressing like he’s the starting QB for the Colts and that’s probably because he knows Rivers is gonna fuck it all up soon.
Julian Blackmon is a Colts rookie out of Utah and I LIKE where his head’s at.
The mantra of “Look Good, Feel Good, Play Good” finally came true for Randall Cobb, who was back to good on Sunday with 95 yards receiving and a TD.
As for Kenny Stills, he’s still workin’ on that seemingly elusive third part of said mantra.
I’ll at least award credit for the black shirt and silver neck gaiter to represent the storied Silver & Black of the Raiders, but come on Derek.
Robby Anderson is perpetually in a state of wild disbelief and it’s god damn hilarious.
Just a quick reminder that every NFL player has the AJ1 Diors and you don’t. But my god they’re so glorious.
— Tennessee Titans (@Titans) September 26, 2020
No idea who these two are all I know is that — what appears to be a pants swap — deserves a round of applause, whether it was unintentional or not.
Chase Young’s groin injury is “not believed to be serious” and that’s great news on all accounts. A talent like that needs to be on the field and flair like this needs to be in this very space.
All trash. Sad.
— ً (@BehavedKyle) September 24, 2020
“All trash. Sad” Excellent summary by “BehavedKyle,” who I’m sure is a beloved presence on #JagsTwitter. But it is kind of an evergreen comment for all things Jaguars, save for Gardner Minshew’s jorts.
And that’s why it’s hardly dumbfounding to see the Jags opted NOT to single out and feature Cassius Marsch’s glorious fit in the gallery below. But trust me, you’ll know it’s Cassius when you scroll over to the sensational baby blue Kobe jersey and the five trillion tats. #Art
did Allen Robinson have an emergency and have to leave halfway through getting his cut pic.twitter.com/CTBAxA4lcY
— Tyler Conway (@jtylerconway) September 27, 2020
What in the world? This truly bizarre cliffhanger is the perfect way to round out Week 3.