NFL Fashion Review Week 14: Kirk Cousins Debuted A Caesar Cut And J.J. Watt Finally Delivered A Fire Fit

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Week 14 of the NFL season was a loaded one, so we’ll start with the least surprising. The NFC East stunningly has a new owner of 1st place thanks to the Giants not showing up. The Chiefs clinched the AFC West, which was quite the overwhelming shocker, and the Packers took care of things and clinched their division as well. Sadly, the Saints, facing a rookie QB making his very first start, somehow did not clinch, and the Seahawks beat the Jets so bad we got an appearance from the one and only Geno Smith. Historic, shocking stuff.

Additionally, the unkillable Garnder Minshew got some run.

And as much as the Washington “Football Team” — yes, that still makes me laugh whenever I see it listed in matchup — gets mocked in this space (kinda like I just did), I couldn’t agree more with this sentiment.

Anyway, without further ado, let’s jump into this one with the passion on Stone Cold Steve Austin beating the living piss out of Mr. McMahon’s already mangled leg. So whether it was fire, fierce, funny or fail, it’s clown car time.

Hit Him Where It Hurts Steve Austin GIF by WWE - Find & Share on GIPHY

What a hilarious performer Vinnie Mac was during the Attitude Era.

J.J. Watt? J.J. Watt!

Kealia Watt, J.J.’s wife, plays for the Chicago Red Stars, so with the Texans in town to get stomped by the Bears, he strolled into Soldier Field wearing her jersey — which is so just clean and amazing looking — to go along with an awesome Red Stars knit hat. It only took 14 long weeks, but J.J. did it.

Lamar Jackson

Really just here for the “pulling a Paul Pierce” poop reference. Such a brilliant move to pull Pierce right back to center stage while also denying he did such a thing. Lamar’s also here because this might be the first time he has ever made an appearance at the podium without some kind of special outfit that includes all 11 of his giant chains. Also, it’s worth saying again: POOP. #PoopGame

Deshaun Watson

Despite experiencing a super deflating season (the Texans are now 4-9) Deshaun Watson continues to do everything off the field to the utmost perfection. Scarf SZN has never been more official than it is after seeing this photo.

Tom Brady

We’ll get to Aaron Rodgers shortly, but talk about keeping things boring. Damn. TB12 has gone from a guy who used to make dramatic entrances with statement-making attire, to just another dude wearing a black t-shirt from Hanes. It’s almost as if he’s been taking precise cues from Captain of #TeamElectric, Matty Ice. Scary revelation.

Kirk Cousins

Captain Kirk with the drip! But I get it, kinda. The man clearly likes to travel comfortably but considering how his teammates dressed, “Kurt” looks like he could easily be mistaken for the Vikings personal trainer.

Ant Harris

Count Ant Harris as being one of those teammates traveling in style. Talk about owning the moment. Remember, this was a business trip.

Adam Thielen & C.J. Ham

See, Kirk could’ve easily gone this route. There are ways to be both stylish and comfortable.

Kirk Cousins, Part II

Alas, we have postgame Kirk delivering that fire we all expected in the form of a… Caesar cut? Amazing. Now maybe this was just by chance and he was rushing through things, but with a little neatening up of that thing, he’s dangerously close to a sea of Lloyd Christmas references. So with that said, please keep it up, sir.

Ben Roethlisberger

Someone commented with this gem and I’m just gonna leave it right here: “I love that Big Ben dresses like a Kohl’s mannequin.”

Russell Wilson

Let’s focus on Russ’s great hair day and dominant win on the field rather than discussing his jacket that appears ready to tap out at any moment.

Travis Kelce

If we’ve learned two things about the Chiefs this season, it’s that no one is beating them and Travis Kelce can wear anything and look great, whereas anyone else would look like a low-grade version of Kramer.

Derrick Henry

Sadly, there was nothing on any of the Titans social media platforms of pregame King Henry or postgame King Henry, unless you include his new freakin’ cleats. But come on, maaaaan. When you rush for 215 yards on 26 carries (that’s 8+ yards a carry!) you deserve to be honored properly, so seen above is a classic throwback only fit for a king.

Cam Newton

When a team gets drilled 24-3, it usually means slim pickings when it comes to what they put up on social media. However, we did find “Sad Postgame Cam” for the very first time this season, probably because the Patriots season is likely over and who knows what’s next for this guy. What an insane difference a week makes.

Andy Dalton

Vindication! Revenge! Whatever you wanna call it, Andy Dalton and his 17/10 top-notch hair returned to Cincinnatti to defeat the thankless team that treated him like such shit last year. Love to see it.

Daniel Jones

These freeze-frames just continue to be outstanding in all the wrong ways. The downtrodden broken feel to Dannyboy is as reliable as a disappointing Big Blue loss. Now please enjoy Court Appearance Daniel Jones:

Aaron Rodgers

I gotta give credit to Aaron Rodgers. He’s kept things pretty simple (aka boring) all season long and boom, here we are: Packers have won the division, he’s the MVP frontrunner, and the NFC Playoffs might very well go through Lambeau. Maybe I should stop making fun of him and things will start to change. Or maybe I just jinxed them by saying all of that. #Dare2Dream

Josh Allen

Josh Allen getting a little artsy and trendy on us? Unacceptable. Say it ain’t so.

Cole Beasley

We’ll stay on the Bills for a moment just so you can click on the photo of Cole Beasley arriving with his trusty bottle of protein powder. Gotta say, that shit is working well for him.

Tyrann Mathieu

Tyrann Mathieu and the Chiefs were Miami-bound, returning to the site of their Super Bowl glory, and he looked every bit the part.

DeAndre Hopkins

DeAndre sporting that classic “I make this shit look easy” glow. He also caught 9 for 136 yards, which is slightly significant. UPDATE: For whatever reason, D-Hop keeps deleting his IG photos, so here’s an old where he’s looking a little off in those pants. The streak is over!

Christian McCaffrey

Are you strongly convinced that Christian McCaffrey is “loving his new Flag & Anthem flannels,” as stated in the caption? I know I am. This is definitely not the face of a man who has played just three games this season and misses football dearly.

Scotty Miller

Bucs receiver Scotty Miller had a pretty outstanding TD catch on a deep ball from Sir Thomas and, of equal significance, headed directly to the skate park following his postgame press conference.

Nick Mullens

This week’s “Matt Ryan Of The Weak Week Award” — which was literally just created — has rightly been presented to Niners QB Nick Mullens! #FitFire #FitFlames

Tyrod Taylor

Been a while since we’ve checked in on him, and yes, Tyrod Taylor is 1000% still bringing it week in and week out. Good for him, especially considering he got royally screwed and subsequently sidelined by his own idiot team doctors.


Brief non-sarcastic moment: The Bucs put up a great gallery of some of the team’s best #MyCauseMyCleats efforts. Much, much more here for those interested. Some great stuff there.

Patrick Mahomes

These 10-second, dramatic slo-mo videos are always a bit over the top, especially since they don’t even contain audio. We get it. You love your star QB. But if you can’t even throw in some music, please go ahead and post a normal photo.

Minkah Fitzpatrick

Minkah Fitzpatrick with the fit and the focus. No surprise here.

Kyler Murray

Kyler Murray went all white everything and a silver chain before putting the Giants in a chokehold that looked just a little too easy.

Davante Adams

It’s Puffy Coat SZN. Get in now or stay out. Just don’t go full Costanza. Things could get ugly. Quickly.

Kenny Moore

Kenny Moore’s one-handed INT while fending off the much larger Darren Waller was so ridiculously impressive he’s completely immune to mockery. Not that he deserves any. The hoodie/suit combo is great.

Aaron Jones

This new Adidas “3-D Trefoil logo” is absolutely awesome. Didn’t think such a classic and distinct logo could be actually be improved. Also loving Aaron’s shades that he clearly purchased last-minute from a nearby CVS.

A.J. Brown

With Julio Jones out on Sunday, A.J. Brown was all-in on showing Julio Jones some major respect. Rarely do you see a player wearing the jersey of an active player from an opposing team, but here we are and it is glorious.

Billy Turner!

Billy Turner, the living legend we had no idea we needed, out there once again looking like he’s on the set of a movie and playing the eccentric lab technician who’s allowed to dress the way he does because he’s a total genius.

Frank Clark

Not sure why, but even with a mask on seems like Frank Clark always goes the mean-muggin’ route with the photographer. Probably because he does.

Derrick Nnadi

First day of school and politely waiting for the bus. Such innocence.

DeForest Buckner

The “two colors at most” seem to be DeForest Buckner’s go-to look and he pulls it off like he runs the city (or a local gambling ring).

Malcolm Jenkins

Malcolm Jenkins, preparing to witness the sermon of the year by Pastor Greenleaf or reenact a scene from Snoop & Tupac’s “2 of Amerikaz Most Wanted”? Leaning the latter.

An Unknown Jaguars Hero

It wouldn’t be the Jags if they didn’t feature a photo of someone in a sensational LeBron throwback high school jersey — from behind no less — and not tag them. If anyone can figure out who this is, you’re basically a genius. Possibly a disturbing one at that.

Myles Jack

And they did it again with Myles Jack! To the rescue, though, came the Jacksonville Icemen themselves, doing all the heavy lifting for the Jags who fittingly got destroyed by the Titans. Love this franchise.

Preston Smith

Do Preston Smith’s shoes always have a pattern in them that match the shirt? Yes, yes they do. The renowned Louis Vuitton icon has done it again.

Za’Darius Smith

Za’Darius Smith, the other half of team Super Smith Bros, doing some Louis V’ matching of his own. I swear these two are actual brothers.

Tavon Austin

Getting the sense the Packers had a mood set for this road trip. Even Tavon Austin was out there lookin’ like a game-changing piece of the puzzle. Or it’s just cold as hell in Detroit.

Jacoby Brissett

Convinced that Jacoby Brissett has the best sneaker collection of any player in the league. He’s slowly become the P.J. Tucker of the NFL. Also worth noting that’s a pretty cool shoutout with the WNBA hoodie.

Younghoe Koo

The champ is here! Younghoe Koo, the suave, silent assassin. Kicker swag always rules.

David Bakhtiari

At long last, the great beer-chugging courtside Bucks fan, David Bakhtiari is featured in a Packers photo gallery and this is what they go with? Check out this 2nd photo in the team’s other gallery. How did that one not get the billing? Big miss.

D’Andre Swift

Simply put, that’s just a badass jacket.

Michael Gallup

Not even sure which “collab” this t-shirt is from but it’s awesome.

Jamaal Williams

No crazy “maniacal smiley clown” mask this week — which was a huge upset and also highly upsetting — but still all the crazy vibes.

Keesean Johnson

Keesean Johnson is listed at 6’1″ and 201 pounds on ESPN. Think it’s time to update that profile page to 6’1″ and 141 pounds. Please and thank you.

A Bunch Of Texans

Guys, maybe a little more time on game prep and a little less time on perfecting that fit? Just a thought. #Here2Help

Steven Means?

Really don’t a lot about Steven Means, the Falcons nominee for Walter Payton Man of the Year, but that flawless Starter jacket coupled with the matching J’s definitely put him on the radar. Cleeeeean.

Phillip Lindsay

This is the most understated you will ever see Phillip Lindsay in your entire life.

Tommy Townsend & Some Big Dude

Already dressed like they’re flying to Tampa for Super Bowl LV. To be fair, they’re not wrong.