NFL Releases Twitter Hashtag Emojis For All 32 Teams, So I Decided To Fix Them For All The Haters


carolina-panthers-twitter-hashtag-emoji

The NFL announced hashtag emojis for all 32 teams on Twitter, so fans can automatically insert logos into their tweets. Some of them are uninspiring while others are confusing or laughable.

I decided to fix the hashtags for all you haters out there…

indianapolis-colts-twitter-hashtag-emoji

RIP Andrew Luck. We hardly knew ye.

green-bay-packers-twitter-hashtag-emoji

I almost went with #CaseOfTheMunnDaze, but Jordan Rodgers talked me out of it.

dallas-cowboys-twitter-emoji-hashtag

It was either this or #MosquitoCircumcision. Great band name btw.

denver-broncos-twitter-hashtag-emoji

#Semen was a very close second.

carolina-panthers-twitter-hashtag-emoji

That’s we call a Bullseye right there.

baltimore-ravens-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Watch the Ravens go to the AFC Championship now.

atlanta-falcons-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Matt Ryan might be the fourth best QB in the NFC South. Julio Jones can only do so much.

cincinnati-bengals-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Time for the Bungles to earn their stripes and go back to the Super Bowl for the first time in a long time. Or lose in the first round.

buffalo-bills-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Rex Ryan lusts for toes and soles. And the Buffalo faithful love him for that. He turned an entire city into fetishists.

washington-redskins-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Enough said. Moving along.

san-diego-chargers-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Used to be fun to watch. Kinda like watching Hulk Hogan trying to grapple in his ’60s.

new-york-giants-twitter-hashtag-emoji

It’s the all-encompassing expression: joy, grief, sorrow, ecstasy. You name it, that’s what it looks like. That will be me in EVERY SINGLE FOURTH QUARTER THIS SEASON.

seattle-seahawks-twitter-hashtag-emoji

FACT: The 12th Man is actually the dude in charge of pumping in artificial crowd noise. He’s so jacked up on Starbucks, he transformed into an Electro-type character who lives in the stadium’s speaker system.

san-francisco-49ers-twitter-hashtag-emoji

And I’m not talking about the yellow penalty flag or the red challenge flag. You know exactly what flag I’m talkin’ ’bout. AND THOSE COLORS DON’T RUN! And neither do the Niners. Jeez.

new-york-jets-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Seriously, Jets fans. It’s time for a revolution. Storm the field, ransack the luxury box. Take control of your city. I feel like Bane in Dark Knight Rises right now.

oakland-raiders-twitter-hashtag-emoji

I feel for you Oakland. First, you lost your team to the City of Angels (woof) then got your team back only to have Blake Lively act like she got one of your luscious, plump booties. Now, VEGAS, baby. What a kick in the dick it would be for the Raiders to go to Sin City and win a Super Bowl.

philadelphia-eagles-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Philadelphians are a fun bunch. They like to swim in dumpsters and many believe their team can be found at the bottom of one.

los-angeles-rams-twitter-hashtag-emoji

#ScrewYouSaintLou was in the running. And running is what the Rams will do the most with Todd Gurley. The team’s first round draft pick, California Golden Boy Jared Goff, is third on the depth chart. Someone get Case Keenum a bigger, better helmet.

miami-dolphins-twitter-hashtag-emoji

What’s ironic is the original hashtag #FinsUp is actually the better one for the haters. That’s what happens when Dolphins die.

minnesota-vikings-twitter-hashtag-emoji

That’s what you are if you saw Teddy Bridgewater’s non-contact injury during practice. I just dry heaved.

kansas-city-chiefs-twitter-hashtag-emoji

This one was tough. I almost went with #BBQupTheOffseason.

new-orleans-saints-twitter-hashtag-emoji

They might not win, but if you love offense like I love offense then you’ll love witnessing these scoreboard workouts.

pittsburgh-steelers-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Is this a bad joke about Ben Roethlisberger? Yes. But, it could also be a take on the Reagan anti-drug slogan “Just Say No”, which LeVeon Bell and Martavis Bryant failed to do.

chicago-bears-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Smokin’ Jay Cutler has been called “the pretty girl who doesn’t wear makeup” by Bears wide receiver Kevin White. I know, how can you cut that? Well, when she keeps ruining your postseason plans, the decision ain’t that hard anymore.

arizona-cardinals-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Man, I pretty much nailed this one. If you’re like “lol wut?”, it’s a take on the Amazon show “All Or Nothing” about the 2015 Arizona Cardinals in which head coach Bruce Arians cut a guy for parking in his spot.

tennessee-titans-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Yeah, man. Kick back, put on some Miley Cyrus, Johnny Cash, or Brad Paisley and chug some moonshine.

detroit-lions-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Maybe Calvin Johnson retiring was a good thing? I might be concussed, I’m sorry.

jacksonville-jaguars-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Too easy. This is a team that hands out towels called “Jag Rags”. How can you not get behind this squad?

cleveland-browns-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Basically. On a slightly related note, has anyone gone to #PoundTown IN the #DawgPound? Rhetorical question, dude. Browns get pounded there eight times a year.

tampa-bay-buccaneers-twitter-hashtag-emoji

That’s my way of saying “blow the game”. How will the Bucs blow this one? Nice and slow or machine gun style? Their play would make anyone shoot their cannon.

new-england-patriots-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Thanks, Captain Obvious.

houston-texans-twitter-hashtag-emoji

Houston could stun people this season. If my client, BROCK Osweiler, can connect with DeAndre Hopkins, Lamar Miller makes tacklers miss, and JJ Watt waffles quarterbacks, this could be the surprise contender in the AFC. Or they could completely shit the bed.

Via FOX Sports

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