Ohio State Is Suing Marc Jacobs For Trying To Trademark ‘THE’ Because Of Course It Is

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As a Boston College graduate, I like to think I’ll eventually get to know what it’s like to be proud of your alma mater’s football team. I don’t know if that will ever happen, but on the bright side, I’m already an expert at dealing with crushing disappointment thanks to the misery that perpetually underwhelming program has brought into my life.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous of other people who actually have a team worth rooting for, but there are certain college football fanbases I’m honestly glad I’m not a part of thanks to the impressive levels of awfulness they radiate—especially Ohio State.

I don’t know exactly why Ohio State has always rubbed me the wrong way, which is mostly because there are too many reasons to count. When you consider the first article that comes up when you Google “best things about Ohio” has “You Experience All Four Seasons” in the top five, I guess I can understand why people in the state the school calls home are so emotionally invested in a team named after a mildly toxic nut. I cannot, however, understand why they’re so insufferable about it.

Talking with an Ohio State fan is like talking to a vegan who’s also a doctor; they have an impressive ability to work their connection to the school into any conversation and are always more than happy to remind you it’s actually called “THE Ohio State University” for reasons I refuse to look up out of sheer principle.

It’s safe to say THE Ohio State University takes its official name very seriously, and if you need proof, I would direct you to the lawsuit the school recently filed against Marc Jacobs, which stems from OSU’s attempt to trademark “THE” in 2019 before getting stuffed at the rim because fashion label had already beat it to the punch.

According to intellectual property attorney Josh Gerben, Ohio State is now appealing that ruling by claiming it was already the rightful owner of the “THE” trademark before Marc Jacobs attempted to secure it, meaning one of the dumbest legal battles in history is now upon us.

I’d argue Ohio State has already lost by virtue of its decision to take this to court, but given its reputation, I think I honestly would’ve been more shocked if it hadn’t.