Pat McAfee Booted A 67 Yard Punt In The Preseason Opener, So The NFL Immediately Demanded He Piss In A Cup

Colts Pro Bowl punter Pat McAfee booted a 67-yard punt to the moon in Saturday’s preseason opener against Buffalo Bills. The boisterous veteran’s punt eclipsed his average from last year by 20 yards and the NFL’s average in 2015 by an astounding 22 yards.

It’s entirely possible that the 29-year-old was jacked up that football’s starting up again and used those juices to boot the longest punt of his seven year career. But, Roger Goodell and lemmings aren’t buyin’ it. They issued McAfee with a ‘random’ drug test request less than 24 hours after the Colts’ 19-18 win on Saturday. McAfee took to Twitter to post the letter issued to him, that looks like it was printed when Johnny Unitas was still under center.

This isn’t the first time McAfee was ‘randomly’ asked to piss in a cup. After he sent out a series of tweets on 4/20 this past year, the NFL came a’knockin.

Literally, the day after.

It’s actually mind-boggling Goodell didn’t follow McAfee into the pisser after he blew up Trindon Holliday back in 2013.

In Goodell’s defense, McAfee looks like the drug dealer that never left our home towns.

Let the bro bro.

[h/t Busted Coverage]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.