The Patriots Mascot Is Reportedly In A World Of Hurt After Getting Tackled By Jets’ Jamal Adams

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It’s been five days since Jets safety Jamal Adams went viral for spearing the Patriots mascot, Pat Patriot, during Pro Bowl festivities in Orlando. In that time, I’m not sure the 23-year-old understands that somewhere in the costume was an actual real life human being with nerve endings and a pain threshold.

What you’re about to see is the pent up frustration of going 0-4 in your career against New England and them putting up 38 on your defense a month ago.

The second-year safety chalked the incident up to a joke, insisted he “didn’t hit him that hard” and expressed he had no regrets for drilling the poor bastard.

Well, according to ESPN’s Ian Rapoport, the man behind the costume is battling soreness on multiple regions of his body.

That “soreness” is likely worsened by the fact that Adams is playing out a 4-year, $22.2 million contract. Could Pat Patriot be trying to secure the bag? If he had an ounce of sense, he’d have his mascot friends beat the ever living shit out of him.

As for Adams’ perspective:

We’ll see if your laissez-fare attitude changes when a Brinks truck rolls up to your place with Pat Patriot in the driver’s seat.

[h/t Total Pro Sports]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.