Sporting News via Getty Images/Sporting News via Getty Images via Getty Images
Eli Manning played sixteen years in the NFL in one of the world’s biggest markets. He beat my team in two soul-crushing Super Bowls that confirmed to me that losing feels worse than winning feels good. He started 220-plus consecutive games. He was always around.
That said, I have never known someone so well who I know nothing about.
Like, what’s your favorite color, dude? Do you like pizza? I don’t know. I know that the owner of my team gets whacked off at strip mall rub-and-tugs, but I couldn’t tell you one concrete belief Eli’s ever held.
The enigma’s enigma.
But it has come to my attention that in the year 2020 of our Lord Tim Tebow, we finally have a story that defines the undefinable.
In a 20-minute interview about the merits of his little brother’s career, Peyton Manning shared a story that is so Eli Manning it should be on the beach looking doughy holding a red pale for some reason.
Via Broncos:
Cooper had gone off to college. It was just he and I. I used to drive Eli to school, and he literally would not say a word the whole time, and a couple times I like missed the exit for his school, and he wouldn’t tell me. I was like, ‘Eli, you knew that was your exit. Why didn’t you tell me?’ He was a quiet, calm and cool kid.
Lol what.
*Peyton driving Eli to school*
[5 hours of complete silence later]
At this moment I still no nothing about Eli Manning aside from everything.