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The college football world is reeling Tuesday morning with the news of the passing of 61-year-old Mississippi State University head football coach Mike Leach following complications from a heart condition.
“Mike was an innovator, pioneer and visionary. He was a college football icon, a coaching legend but an even better person,” said Mississippi State University Interim Athletics Director Bracky Brett. “We are all better for having known Mike Leach.”
While college football fans didn’t get to know Mike Leach personally, he often made it feel like they did. This was especially true during his weekly press conferences where the coach would often go completely off the rails in some entertaining tangent.
Leach, who unabashedly expressed his love for pirates over the years, was never afraid to go off topic and those watching were almost always the better for it.
Here are some of Coach Leach’s best press conference moments…
Mike Leach Hates Cell Phones And E-Mail
In 2009, when he was the coach at Texas Tech, Mike Leach was asked about e-mails at Big 12 Media Day.
“Those little phones that do that, I’d like to break those things,” said Leach. “I’m not sure they shouldn’t outlaw ’em. Everybody says, ‘oh, it’s so convenient,’ and then they go, ‘oh, well it won’t come up, well it always works except this time.’ No it doesn’t.”
Mike Leach Predicts Online Dating Will Lead To Human Extinction
Back in 2014 while he was with Washington State, Leach expressed concern during a presser about the future of society.
“I’m not really good with technology. All this button pushing and whatnot,” said Leach. “I mean, you can just imagine based on what’s happened in the last 15 years. Conversations won’t happen 10 years from now. There aren’t going to be people to talk to, it’s going to be this (mimics pushing buttons). ‘Do you want to go out on a date with me?’ ‘I don’t know, what do you look like?’ ‘Well I look kind of like this.’ ‘OK, what are your interests?’ ‘Well, what do you think my interests are? Looking into this thing and typing into this just like yours are.’ ‘Yeah, no kidding, that’s what everybody’s doing.’ ‘Well, where do you want to go?’ ‘Well, what difference does it make? Because all we’re going to be doing is looking into machines anyways.’ Well, that’s true and in the end it’s going to be tough to perpetuate the species. There’s no question about that. So we’re all going to look in this box and eventually be extinct. That’s how it ends.”
Mike Leach Gives The Greatest Advice On Getting Married
During a media session in 2017 prior to a game against rival Washington, a reporter who was getting married asked the coach for some wedding advice. He did not disappoint.
It’s rivalry week. #WSU is one win away from the @pac12 title game.
But a reporter getting married in 9 days asked @Coach_Leach for wedding advice tonight, and Leach’s answer was incredible. I’m dying. 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/alhOiWd9Tv
— Aaron Levine (@AaronLevine_) November 22, 2017
Mike Leach Dismantles Arguments Against An Expanded College Football Playoff
Mike Leach’s eccentricities dominate the narrative
First + foremost, he was a visionary
“Air Raid” is Leach’s phrase — his concepts remade every level of football
Here he is in ‘17 dismantling arguments against an expanded CFB playoff with ease + humorpic.twitter.com/UosDv8nxvI
— Thor Nystrom (@thorku) December 12, 2022
Mike Leach Perfectly Sums Up The Sport Of Golf While Explaining Why He Doesn’t Play
Mike Leach, on golf: “Golf’s pretty much for people that don’t swear effectively enough or need practice at it. And so there are people that need golf and I don’t think I do.” pic.twitter.com/ikloxMCXJR
— Theo Lawson (@TheoLawson_SR) April 18, 2018
Mike Leach Offers Absurd Halloween Advice (And It Involves Stripper Costumes)
Among the many gems in this presser was Mike Leach saying that it’s important to have “mobility with your costume” in order to get around to houses as fast as possible to snatch up all the candy.
***MIKE LEACH HALLOWEEN THOUGHTS SUPER CUT***
(And yes, the stripper costume quote is on here) pic.twitter.com/fLnx5KoCPB
— Brenna Greene (@BrennaGreene_) October 29, 2018
Mike Leach Riffs For Two Minutes About The Best College Football Mascot
For his money, one mascot ranks above all others.
Mike Leach, big fan of Colorado Buffalo mascot Ralphie and other live mascots: pic.twitter.com/EUZVap1G7e
— Femi Abebefe (@FemiAbebefe) November 6, 2018
Mike Leach Offends People With OCD, The State Of California, And Analyzes A Mascot Fight, All In One Day
“What kind of mythical powers does a Sun Devil have? We gotta consider that,” said Leach in 2019, adding, “You’d have to get one of those Harry Potter activists to read up on how you kill a Sun Devil, because there’s a lot of outside stuff there.”
Mike Leach has some THOUGHTS on the state of California trying to pass legislation to pay college athletes (Things get spicy after Leach, quite literally, sips his tea)
H/T @WSUCougarFB pic.twitter.com/Jtt4rIKV1C
— Brenna Greene (@BrennaGreene_) September 16, 2019
Mike Leach Spends Half His Press Conference Discussing Coaches Covering Their Mouths On The Sidelines
“I get a kick out of it, but these same people that are covering their mouth all the time, you know, like there’s lip readers because, you know, you know, America has always been this huge bastion of lip readers. You know, starting from kindergarten in some parts of this country, children are raised to read lips,” Leach opined in a tangent that went on and on and on.
Mike Leach Spends Over Two Minutes Of His Weekly Press Conference Talking About Zombies
For some reason, a reporter asked him what he would need to have in the case of a zombie apocalypse.
“I honestly think, I don’t think I’d have to store that much. I’d have to store all my favorite things and have a nice, locked-in space. Zombies seem to be able to climb, so I don’t think height is a big deal. And obviously I’d want to blast of couple just to see how that comes together,” he explained. “But I actually think, in a zombie apocalypse, I would die of boredom before anything else. I think some of my neighbors would start shooting zombies – okay there’s another one, and there’s another one, and another zombie, oh okay, this is a really ugly zombie, wow, pretty attractive for a zombie. And then, no, I think I’d die of boredom, I really do.”
Mike Leach Rambles About Cardboard Cutouts Of Fans
“Live clean, live smart, and maybe when you become a fake person, you'll get good seats at the LSU game."
-Mike Leach pic.twitter.com/j6FQJpGslg
— George Stoia III (@GeorgeStoia) September 29, 2020
Mike Leach Still Wants His Money From Texas Tech After 2009 Firing
While taking shots at Texas Tech, he reminded them that they have not won nine games in a season since he was fired.
Mike Leach: “They still owe me for 2009….” pic.twitter.com/Qr5diWHn7s
— Ayaan (@TheAyaanZone) December 12, 2021
Mike Leach Fears Future Generations Of Mississippians Won’t Have Hands
Just this past October, Coach Leach joked that if his pass catchers don’t start using their hands, their kids and grandkids might lose them altogether.
“I’m genuinely fearful that if me and the other coaches don’t get [the receivers] right, that about a generation from now, their kids and their grandkids won’t have hands. From a lack of use, the hands could just disappear,” he said. “We have to correct this. I think that in the end, it’s going to be best for all these guys that they have good hand development, and that they don’t evolve to where they don’t have hands.
Honorable mentions: Leach’s takes on “fat little girlfriends” and Area 51.