Ranking The Shittiest NBA Players With Multiple Championship Rings
The NBA Finals tipoff tonight, pitting the Cleveland Cavs against the Golden State Warriors in a rematch of last year’s championship that saw the Dubs end up on top. And while everyone knows the names of guys like LeBron James and Steph Curry, among others, way down at the end of both teams’ benches will be some scrub who will end up with a championship ring.
Over the history of the league, there have been plenty awful players who have scooped a title by riding the coattails of a superstar, but when it has happened more than once, that’s when shit just isn’t fair.
Hall of Famers like Karl Malone, John Stockton and Charles Barkley never won an NBA championship, but these miserable players have at least two. Shake my damn head.
Will Perdue (Four Championships: 1991, 1992, 1993, 1999)
Besides the total bullshit of Will Perdue winning four titles, how about the fact that this dude was actually the No. 11 overall pick in the NBA draft back in 1988? That right there is surprising enough.
Averaging just 4.7 points, 4.9 rebounds and getting to play alongside Hall of Fame talent like Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, David Robinson and Tim Duncan, Perdue was able to do jackshit and “earn” himself four rings.
And for those wondering, his career postseason averages during those title years look like this: 2.4 points, 2.7 rebounds, only proving that he didn’t do a damn thing to help the Bulls or Spurs when it mattered most.
Mark Madsen (Two Championships: 2001, 2002)
We all remember former NBA center Mark Madsen for his “mad” dancing skills following his first championship with the L.A. Lakers, but can you believe that this awkward white dude got to experience one more title before his career was over?
In the words of championship starved Charles Barkley, “That’s turrible.”
With career numbers of just 2.2 points and 2.6 rebounds per game, Mad Dog was rarely on the court to contribute a damn thing, instead forced into high five duty from the bench for superstars Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant.
Dickey Simpkins (Three Championships: 1996, 1997, 1998)
Dickey Fucking Simpkins, man!
One of the premier names in NBA history, Simpkins earned his keep with the Chicago Bulls after the team drafted him 21st overall in the 1994 draft. Ironically enough, that was also the year that Michael Jordan was out of the league.
Once MJ returned a year later and led the team to three-straight championships, guess who benefitted? Yep, Dickey.
With no career postseason stats and piss-poor numbers from the regular season of just 4.2 points and 3.6 rebounds per game, Simpkins was one of the most lucky sons of bitches in NBA history—and he has three rings because of it.