This Reddit Proposal For The NBA Playoffs To Take Place On A Private Island Will Lift Us From Dystopia

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Stay inside and all that jazz, but if this shit eliminates the entire NBA season, I don’t think my brain could survive it. I’m becoming so stir crazy I’m really close to enrolling in a Tai Lopez social media marketing course. It’s getting bad.

The Tom Hanks disease has already spawned more negative externalities than my cushy life is comfortable forfeiting. The NBA playoffs must go on, and thankfully a Redditor has ironed out all the details.

NBA should Quarantine every player (who tests negative) on an island with a court, refs, tv crews, & stockpile of food. Then hold the playoffs. When a team gets eliminated, boot them off the island into the infected world.

Step 1. Find a private island for rent with nice living quarters and a huge sports complex. Get to work disinfecting it and stockpiling it with food.

Step 2. Take every team currently qualified for the playoffs and test every player. The ones that test negative get admitted to the island.

Step 3. Hire tv crew, refs, cooks, and general staff, all – of course – must test negative.

Step 4. Hold the playoffs as normal, with 4 rounds of 7-game series. When a team is eliminated from the playoffs, they get booted off the island.

This is the greatest idea of all time. Change my mind.

Let’s build on the idea.

You should be working for ABC. Combining two of their biggest hits. NBA playoffs and Bachelor in paradise.

NBA in Paradise

Or bring NBA to CBS to air this alongside Survivor. Fuck it, let’s just do survivor with all NBA players. I wanna watch LeBron get outed for eating double rations when no one’s looking, only to play the immunity idol he found and showed to KD so he could backstab Kyrie, who thought he had a solid alliance with KD

Need it. Want it. Have to have it.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.