Steve Stricker. Zach Johnson. Bill Hass. Jonathan Byrd.
What does Jordan Spieth have in common with those guys? Other than the fact that they all play on the PGA Tour. Oh, you know what they have in common! When all of them take their hats off after a round of golf, they expose the fact that they’re all suffering from cripplingly bad hairlines. And, like Jordan, most of them have been since a young age.
As a 21-year-old, it’s probably a sore subject. You know it’s happening, but you do not want to talk about it other than when you’re alone, in front of a mirror and silently screaming, “WHY GOD?!?”
But yesterday, in an effort to apparently console Spieth during his +3 round at The Players Championship, Rory McIlroy, a person who shouldn’t comfort anyone about hair loss, told Jordan to not worry when it comes to his ever-growing forehead because he’s got a green jacket. Just what he probably needed to hear as his round went into the shitter.
Q. Jordan was clearly struggling, it looked like you were almost trying to cheer him up, is that the case?
RORY MCILROY: It’s funny we were talking about hair styles. (Laughter.) It’s funny — sort of hair styles or something like that. But anyway, I sort of said to him, you have a green jacket, your hair can be whatever you want it to be.
“Yo Bro, I know your hair is a fucking atrocity, but fuck it, right? You have that green jacket AND if it weren’t for me, you’d be the #1 player in the world. Chin up.”
In light of this, I now expect Spieth to dust the course with McIlroy today. Insult a man’s golf game, sleep with a man’s woman, but don’t you dare talk about his hairline.