Streaker Bolts Entire Length Of Soccer Field In Undies To Snap A Selfie With Goalie, Then Takes Dive, Naturally


This Ricky Gervais doppelganger has some jets. Look like this dude was shot out of a fucking cannon. Made it from end line to end line in five seconds even. Granted he ends up taking a dive, but that’s to be expected in a soccer match. His speed is only the second most impressive part of this video…

Take a look at those white boxer briefs. Not one skid mark. I wish mine would come out of the package with a small skid mark already on them so I don’t have the burden of preserving the impossible. This dude must be duct taping his asshole or something because in all my years of wearing tighty whities, a grand total of zero have made it out streakless. Impressive stuff.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.