Tank Abbott Challenges Ronda Rousey To A Fight–Demands She Make Him A Ham Sandwich When He Wins

Tank Abbott is a 50-year-old mixed martial arts fighter (record: 25-10) and former professional wrestler. He is 6’0” and 255 pounds and admits to developing his fighting style by beating the shit out of dudes in the bars and streets of Huntington Beach, California.

My extensive Wikipedia research on Tank informed me that while working at a liquor store in college to pay for his tuition, he encountered a “smart ass” customer. Abbott beat the customer so mercilessly, he was hospitalized. The customer turned out to be the son of a detective, and he pressed charges for assault. Tank spent six months in jail, the judge saying “Mr. Abbott, you are a maniac. I’m surprised you haven’t killed somebody.”

Truer words have never been spoken.

With as much love as I have for Rowdy Ronda, there is not one fiber in my body that believes that she stands a chance against this savage.

Tank spoke about Ronda on his podcast and was extremely cocksure about him pulverizing Rousey in a fight. Why? Because he has a cock.

Hear it out of the Tank’s mouth.


JK, don’t hurt me.

[h/t TMZ]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.