Which means that it is also time for college football fans to do all sorts of weird sh*t in support of their schools.
One fan of the Tennessee Volunteers, who just happens to be the proud owner of two season tickets, no longer has his girlfriend to drag along to games with him because, well, she broke up with him. (Keep reading and you might understand how this could happen.)
So, being the enterprising fellow that he so obviously is, this Vols fan took to Craigslist in an effort to find a new female companion to go to Tennessee football games with him.
However, he isn’t looking for just any woman. He has a specific list of guidelines this female companion will need to follow.
Here’s what he wrote. There is a LOT to unpack.
This may seem like a crazy notion, but here it goes…. Female responses only….
My girlfriend broke up with me a couple of weeks ago, so I find myself with an extra ticket to each of the University of Tennessee football games. Not looking for a relationship, merely a lady that would be interested in accompanying me to a game or two.
The group that I tailgate with are all couples (ages 40-60s).
Must behave in a respectable manner (no drunks, no drugs, no vulgarity).
Got that? No relationship. No behavior normally seen at a college football tailgate.
Must be willing to tailgate for most of the day/evening. I have 1 and only 1 parking pass. I arrive early and stay late.
Plan on a 6-8 hr day.
Requiring an up to 8-hour committment is certainly going to whittle the pool of available women down a bit.
You must be a VOLS fan. Sorry but I am not wanting to sit beside a Gator, Dawg, Cat or Dore.
If you have favorite tailgate dishes you wish to share, bonus points.
Because, you know, women love to cook tasty dishes for tailgates.
I’m open to having different person each game, or if we are mutually compatible then maybe most or all games to the same person.
But he is NOT looking for a relationship. Got it?!
Ask that you be willing to pay face value of the ticket. That applies for both Georgia and Georgia State. You can’t lowball the best games and expect the lesser games to be near free.
That’s right. Not only do lucky ladies get to hang out with him for up to eight hours on game day, and maybe cook a dish or two, they also have to pay him FACE VALUE of the ticket. How is this guy not married yet?
Would like to chat and meet prior to any specific game.
Just don’t expect a relationship!
Tell me why I should pick you?
Tell us why any woman would pick you?!
I would LOVE to see the responses women gave to this ad.
Because the responses to the ad on Twitter were pure gold.
Tell me why I should pick u to pay face value to stay sober and sit by me.— Concrete Vol (@MaddoxCupp) August 16, 2019
"Must behave in respectable manner."(No drunks, no drugs, no vulgarity) Sounds like the worst tailgate ever.— Andrenochrome Matt (@RestingBastard) August 15, 2019
Whaaa? Not even going to throw in the ticket? Who in the hell wants to be miserable at a boring ass tailgate AND pay for it?— 🧻Uncle Chuck🧻 (@NotMy1stAcct) August 15, 2019
Why wouldnt you just sell the 1 ticket for face value for the season to someone who wants one. Why go through all that hoopla, to search for a “female” that you are still going to make pay for the ticket? it also sounds like their tailgate is inside a Sunday school...sounds fun😒— Jared Hueser (@jhueser1439) August 15, 2019
Dude is trying to get some ass but make her pay for it....it does not work like that, pal...— Slab Slayer (@WHODATVOL) August 15, 2019
what exactly is she getting out of it? Not having to park and tailgaiting with a bunch of couples she doesnt know? I mean she has to still pay for her own ticket!— 🏀🏈🍊Kim❤️VOLS🍊🏈🏀 (@kim_murrell) August 15, 2019
Who said chivalry is dead.— Mr.CheckerBoard (@MrCheckerboard) August 15, 2019
I understand why his gf left....— VoLynteer (@Lynnie_S4114) August 16, 2019