Tom Brady Posts Hilarious Video Making Fun Of Himself Over His Piss-Poor Blocking Attempt Against The Jets

On the Patriots first drive of last night’s win against the Jets, LeGarrette Blount took a handoff off the right tackle and reversed his course to an advantageous open patch of field ahead of him. His leading downfield blocker: Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. The absolute wrecking ball is pictured below:

When pressed on the play after the game, Brady explained why he looked like he was running with a shit in his pants during his ineffective blocking attempt.

“For a quarterback, it’s hard to really show toughness other than being out there every play,” Brady said Monday. “You guys saw what happens when I get out in front of a running back. I can’t do [expletive]. You don’t even know what to do when I’m get out there. I’m looking around — I’m seeing bodies. I’m really a fish out of water when I’m out there.”

Brady took to Facebook to post a video mocking himself for looking like a senior citizen running from the bulls in Pamplona. Good on you, Brady. And from a concerned Patriots fan: If you’re ever put in a position where you have an opportunity to block NFL linemen, please just drop where you are and roll up in the fetal position.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.