Of Course Vlad Putin Scored 8 Goals In A Hockey Game Against Former NHL Players

Russian dictator Vladimir Putin recently took a page out of the late Kim Jong Il’s North Korea dominance playbook by performing exceedingly better than he is actually capable of, while playing a game of hockey against a lineup of former NHL players in an exhibition game.

Putin netted 8 of his team’s goals, most of them being assisted by former NHL stars Pavel Bure and Valeri Kamensky. No shit their team won 18-6, or you know heads would have rolled. The game took place in Sochi, the site of the 2014 Winter Olympics, before the U.S. and Russia faced off in an IIHF World Hockey Championship semi-final.

Here’s a recap of the Russian dictators dazzling skills on the ice. Yeah, as you can expect, his dangles give even Patty Kane a run for his money.

So you think the opposing goalie’s life was on the line if he didn’t see to it that the dictator’s laughable attempts at snipes hit the back of the twine? I’d pretty much bet on it.

And what a fall from grace for Pavel Bure, right?

Going from doing this…

…to feeding the puck ever so delicately to Putin? Gross.

I feel so bad for the Russian Rocket, man. But then again, I suppose a guy’s got to do what a guy’s got to do to avoid being executed in mother Russia these days.

[h/t SportsNet Canada]