With a moniker such as “longest running, weekly episodic television show…” comes a helluva responsibility, as it pertains to the broadcasting approach to the WWE Universe.
Currently in the midst of the Reality Era–social media blurring the lines between what’s scripted and what isn’t–Vince McMahon’s company ( may as well be Triple H’s) continues making alterations to its verbiage (see leaked docs)–some of which’ll make you go hmmm…
Here are some words and phrases wrestlers and announcers are forbidden from using on camera.
Pro Wrestler or Wrestling
If pro wrestling isn’t… pro wrestling, then “what in the blue hell” (I’ll take the cheap pop for The Rock reference) else are they doing out there? Some more squared circle food for thought: If Vinny Mac and company want the WWE roster (WWE & NXT) collectively and individually being referred to as “entertainers,” then why ban the usage of the term “sports entertainment”? And for that matter, what else besides wrestling would two guys locking it up in the ring be called–The Young and the Restless in tights?
Apparently, referring to the WWE Universe as fans is also a big taboo. However, the company did make it a point to acknowledge that speaking directly to us as “you” is preferred. Don’t know about any of “you” out there, but the thought of pretending that Michael Cole is speaking directly to me with his beady little eyes is creepier than witnessing Mae Young giving birth to a hand.
There’s the backbreaker drop, the double knee backbreaker, tilt-a-whirl backbreaker… and the list of its 24-plus variations goes on and on. If this well-known move is to “World Wrestling Entertainment,” what shrimp is to Bubba from Forrest Gump, then what’s the point of banning it? Oh yeah, because the product has a PG rating. Call me stupid, but Brock Lesnar’s bloody Mania 32 blade job was definitely not PG, and for that matter, neither was the photo of Seth Rollins’s junk being leaked on social media. Clearly, the WWE champ has no “Future” with his hell-bent on revenge ex.
Belt or strap are not to be used when speaking about any of the WWE’s prestigious titles–and yes that means the ones that were added from the now-defunct WCW. Oh wait, there’s only one in circulation now, the U.S. stra-, I mean title. So what that most of the WWE’s titleholders aren’t wearing the gold around their waist these days; it’s still got notches on it for crying out loud!
I’m going to go out on a limb here, but I’m guessing LMFAO and/or Lil Jon won’t be appearing atop any WWE entrance ramps lip syncing to Shots. Following Kevin Owens’s offstage Pop-Up Powerbomb to MGK on Raw, I think I’ll pass on that anyhow. Opportunity seems like the better word–that is despite certain deserving superstars never seeming to get them. (Cough, cough) Dolph Ziggler.
Choreographed or Acrobatics
Alright, so perhaps Seth Rollins or Dean Ambrose aren’t going to be up for any Academy Awards alongside Eddie Redmayne. Or, Neville won’t be trading in his signature Red Arrow in to learn the choreography to Beyonce’s second coming of “Bootylicious.” But, I’m fairly certain that any move in his skill set is anything less than acrobatic. Need I say more?
It’s short for disqualification and this one’s a bit perplexing. With that said, if I were to take a stab as to the rationale behind the ban, I suppose I wouldn’t want my hosses being associated with Dairy Queen aka DQ either. But hey, who says Owens or Bray Wyatt couldn’t be good fits for the brand, literally. Fight Owens Fight could be replaced with Splurge Owens Splurge, and “The Eater of Worlds” swapped out for “The Eater of Ice Cream.”
If you ask me, this one kind of worked itself out, being that there really haven’t been many factions since The Attitude Era, which featured the likes of The Corporation, DX, and more. Sure, The Authority could be considered one, and quite possibly, The New Day. However, I could only fathom how much more repetitive a three-hour Raw would be with more “entertainers” clustered together to save time. Thanks, but no thanks.
When I hear the word choke, a less than ideal predicament for one WWE superstar comes to mind. It was this man’s June 7, 2010 debut as a member of Nexus that nearly altered the course of WWE history–when the WWE shit-canned Daniel Bryan for choking out Justin Roberts with the latter’s tie. Luckily, the goat-faced superstar was brought back two months later. While neck injuries currently have Bryan’s career up in the air, you could rest assured that Brie Bella’s hubby’s Yes! chant would be nonexistent if the WWE stuck with their initial decision. No! No! No!
Five-Star Match/ Match of the Year
If the concept of entertainment is being fully embraced and you’re giving Cole and JBL the green light to call any given match an “exciting soap opera,” than why can’t it be rated as a five-star match? To take it a step further, let’s be realistic: Try telling the various “wrestling” dirt sheets to not evaluate the product in this way. And to top it off, why have Match of the Year as a WWE Slammy Awards category?