This dubious fan was the highlight in Monday night’s game between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. Not for catching a foul ball while holding a beer, or the less impressive feat of catching a foul ball while holding a baby. This Yankees fan was the star because he couldn’t catch ANY of the three foul balls that were hit directly to him.
While I was watching this awful showing of fandom, I was having an internal battle in my head on whether to feel sorry for this dude or openly ridicule him.
The devil on my right shoulder says, “What a fucking parade of fail this dickwad is.”
However the angel on my left should tries to bring some compassion to the unfortunate situation, “He tried his best.”
“Tried his best?” The devil questions. “One ball went right through his hands like he was trying to catch water. Another foul ball hit him square in the chest and the last one hit probably broke his nerdy glasses.”
The angel replies, “Remember that time in Little League when we caught a pop fly with our teeth? Maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to judge others.”
“There was sun in our eyes,” the devil retorts. “Fuck that guy, he can afford $4,000 front-row tickets.”
“Surely vexation kills the fool, and jealousy slays the simple,” preaches the angel.
At this point, the devil sneaks around my neck and smashes the angel over the head with a crowbar. Without thinking, I immediately begin to point and laugh at this poor fan’s inability to catch a baseball.