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THE HEADLINES

 

THE F*CK IF THEY KNOW

Your friend Chad’s two favorite brands have teamed up to dethrone Magnises as the douchiest payment method on God’s green earth. Meet the Goldman Sach’s/Apple credit card.

The card, Goldman’s first foray into plastic, will sync with cardholder’s iPhones and Apple Pay. Testing will begin this week with a plan to launch by the end of the year. Features will include seamless (and never before seen) Apple Wallet analytics, so you can watch yourself spiral into debt in real time.

The new card won’t be the default in the iPhone’s digital wallet, however. But it’s not for lack of trying. Contracts with other Apple Pay partners forbid it. The move will undoubtedly strain relationships with other banks … but that’s showbiz, baby.

But why?

Apple and Goldman’s combined experience in the credit card space spans … minutes. But that doesn’t mean the move doesn’t make sense. Both companies are looking to expand their respective offerings …

Following a less than stellar 2018, Apple is looking to its services sector to boost revenue. Bringing more users to Apple Pay might do the trick. Thanks a lot, China.

And Goldman is seeking to offset declines in its securities trading biz (… and cover its massive legal fees stemming from the 1MDB scandal) with its new online consumer bank, Marcus. With the Apple play, DJ D-Sol is hoping to recruit some Apple fanboys and girls.

 

LISTING AGENT

Zillow’s current CEO, Spencer Rascoff, was push–, I mean, is stepping aside. Former CEO and co-founder Rich Barton will man the helm as the company focuses on its new strategy: a homebuying business.

Last April, Zillow announced that it would start flipping houses based on the customer-driven data captured via its popular website … which is used almost entirely for socio-economic comparison amongst friends.

An average of 186M users visit the home-sites web and mobile platforms … more than 3x that of Realtor.com. And the plan makes sense … who knows more about what a customer is willing to pay for a home than Zillow?

The company has also begun originating mortgages for customers.

Hate to burst your bubble

Despite the long-term potential, investors are not sold on the move. Traditionally, Zillow has made its money selling advertising and listings on its website. The timing wasn’t great either. Mortgage rates have been rising recently while home buying has fallen (thanks millennials!) The early results? Well … not great.

While Rascoff has helped keep the company on the straight and narrow, the board believes that Barton will be able to reassure investors that this is a winning formula. And if his track record is any indication Zillow should be slinging houses for a long time to come.

 

TO CATCH A YOUTUBER

PR 101: pedophilia is bad for business. After being accused of enabling a “softcore pedophilia ring” by users on Reddit, YouTube has seen a mass exodus of advertisers. Companies like Disney, Epic, McDonald’s, and AT&T are all halting ads with the video service until someone comes up with an explanation.

AT&T isn’t new to the YouTube boycott business. Last month, after a two-year hiatus due to ads potentially being run on videos featuring hate speech and offensive content, the company had resumed advertising with the video giant.

Now, it’s back on the wagon until Google can protect its brand from “offensive content of any kind,” according to a spokesman with AT&T.

So, what’s going on now?

While similar allegations emerged in 2017, according to at least one YouTube creator, a number of videos of children feature comment sections that are flooded with users trading inappropriate links and comments.

The platform’s recommendation algorithm then serves up similar videos with similar links and comments to user’s who’ve viewed the original video. Many of the comments included sexually suggestive emojis and timestamps within the videos. According to YouTube, it’s reviewing its policies.

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IN OTHER NEWS

• Breakups suck. And Stamps.com is finding this out the hard way. Shares fell an astonishing 50% Thursday after the company announced that it was ending its relationship with the US Postal Service. During Stamps’ earnings call, management mentioned that 2019 was going to be a tough year, but on the bright side … there are plans to branch out to non-USPS carriers like UPS and FedEx.

 

• If you think you had a rough Thursday then buckle up because you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Kraft Heinz stock price dropped 20% in after-hours trading following news that it *reads cue cards* slashed dividends, disclosed an SEC investigation about its procurement practices, and wrote down the value of its Kraft and Oscar Mayer brands by $15.4B.

 

• China has proposed that it may buy an additional $30B worth of soybeans, wheat, and corn as a part of trade negotiations. Potentially removing anti-dumping and anti-subsidiary tariffs on distiller’s dried grains might also be on the table. Still no word on beet duties.

 

• Pinterest has filed for an IPO confidentially, seeking a valuation of at least $12B. Your mom and girlfriend’s favorite website is looking to go public as early as April but is aiming for sometime within 2019.

 

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