Are you sick of working in a 3×3 cube endless trudging through Excel spreadsheets? Do you hotbox your tiny apartment with one fart and nearly suffocate yourself? Do you sometimes have to take the bus? If you answered yes to any of these questions, it sounds like you could use $400+ million.
Your best bet is to buy a Mega Millions and Powerball ticket because, as of Wednesday morning, the Mega Millions jackpot ascended to an estimated $418 million and the Powerball jackpot reached $440 million. The Powerball jackpot ranks ninth all-time in Powerball jackpots.
Back in January 2016, billionaire Mark Cuban shared his advice for the winner of the Mega Millions lottery that reached a record $1.6 billion. He told The Dallas Morning News:
- Buy three mini ponies, all of varying colors
- Invest in Radio Shack and The Weinstein Company
Ok, I’m just fucking with you. Here’s his real advice.
- Hire a tax attorney first.
- Don’t take the lump sum. You don’t want to blow it all in one spot.
- If you weren’t happy yesterday you won’t be happy tomorrow. It’s money. It’s not happiness.
- If you were happy yesterday, you are going to be a lot happier tomorrow. It’s money. Life gets easier when you don’t have to worry about the bills.
- Tell all your friends and relatives no. They will ask. Tell them no. If you are close to them, you already know who needs help and what they need. Feel free to help SOME, but talk to your accountant before you do anything and remember this, no one needs 1m dollars for anything. No one needs 100k for anything. Anyone who asks is not your friend.
- You don’t become a smart investor when you win the lottery. Don’t make investments. You can put it in the bank and live comfortably. Forever. You will sleep a lot better knowing you won’t lose money.
Bottom line: Don’t be a moron and don’t spend all the money on stupid shit. If you can’t follow those two simple rules, you should be banished to an unknown land.
[h/t Business Insider]