Secretary Mnuchin Is Making It Rain

The following is one story you’ll find in today’s edition of The Water Coolest’s free daily email newsletter. The Water Coolest is a daily business news and professional advice email newsletter geared towards bros (read: expect a hearty helping of unfiltered commentary and advice on how to suck less at work). You can sign up now to get the latest news and commentary delivered to your inbox every weekday at 6 AM EST.


US Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin announced an economic stimulus that could be between $850B and $1T on Tuesday after the White House called on the government to provide aid to businesses and the unemployed as a result of the shutdown.

Secretary Mnuchin told GOP Senators that unemployment could reach up to 20% if they do not step in and help. Not great, Steve.

Give me the details

The package includes some hefty payments of up to $500B in direct payments via check or tax cuts for individuals (start sending Stevie Bailouts Venmo request), up to $300B in small business assistance, and as much as $100B in airline and other industry relief. Plus, the government is allowing a 90-day extension on paying taxes. No word on if there are any handouts for breakthrough newsletters.

Both Mnuchin and POTUS have said the plan is to get cash directly to Americans faster than J.G Wentworth *dials 877-Cash-Now*.


The biggest use of the money is an initial $250B tranche of direct payments that Mnuchin hopes can be sent to the public by the end of April. *Checks calendar* “Wait, that’s still five weeks from now.” – literally everyone.

The White House hopes that the injection will spur spending and keep the economy afloat. And fear not, the payments will be vetted before being sent out to make sure that wealthy Americans aren’t receiving payments they don’t need. I bet you’re regretting that trust fund now, Chad!

So when do I get my check?

Hold your horses. Before Uncle Sam starts delivering Publishers Clearing House checks to every American’s doorstep the proposed stimulus faces an uphill battle in Congress before it reaches POTUS’ desk for signature.

Cooler Commentary

And just in case there wasn’t enough bad news for you today… it’s officially #recessionszn. That’s right, Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs officially declared that we are in a recession. The banks are forecast average growth of GDP this coming year to be only 0.9% which for those tracking at home, is pretty damn bad.

In fact, that is the second-lowest growth rate since the 1990s with only 2009’s contraction of 0.8% being worse. Soooo, you’re telling me there’s a chance?!


Like what you see? There’s more where that came from. Sign up now to get the latest news and commentary delivered to your inbox every weekday at 6 AM EST.

The Water Coolest is a daily business newsletter consisting of business news, financial advice, and unfiltered commentary. Delivered fresh in your inbox every morning so you're ready to snap necks and cash checks. Written by Tyler Morrin, AJ Glagolev, Nick Ellis, and Ian Barto.