Shire Pharma Sales Drama; Deutsche Bank’s Massive Overdraft; Fearless Girl Statue To Move

The Water Coolest

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Adderall maker Shire Pharma gave a whole new meaning to saying no to drugs yesterday. The company scoffed at Takeda Pharmaceutical’s $63B takeover bid Thursday AM.

But that didn’t deter the maker of Botox, Allergan, from having ageless, unwrinkled eyes for Shire as soon as Thursday afternoon. With Takeda still in the running and Allergan considering a bid, Shire appeared to be the sixty-ish billion dollar belle of the ball.

And Shire didn’t just wreak havoc on the hearts and emotions of pharma bros the world over. Allergan’s shares dropped close to 9% on the news of a potential takeover of Shire.

Once the smoke cleared on Thursday night, however, Allergan announced it wouldn’t pursue an offer and Takeda remained “in talks” with Shire.

Water Cooler Talking Point: “No wonder Shire wouldn’t accept a $63B bid. They’re sitting on an absolute goldmine with Adderall. It’s not lost on them that there hasn’t been a workplace PED that game-changing since booger sugar hit the scene.”



Deutsche Bank accidentally sent a derivatives payment of $35B to an account at Deutsche Boerse AG’s Eurex clearinghouse last month. Luckily, most of the funds were promptly returned.

The news doesn’t exactly bode well for Deutsche Bank who is currently undergoing major leadership changes and suffering from their third straight annual loss. New CEO Christian Sewing is probably thrilled to be dealing with this in his second week at the helm.

The error certainly doesn’t help the case for “deregulation” brought by European banks. Ironically, the ECB has requested that Deutsche Bank become the first European bank to model winding down their trading book.

Water Cooler Talking Point: “Holy sh*t. I hyperventilate when I make my credit card and rent payments all at one time. I can’t imagine my bank account balance being at a -$34,999,996,420.69. Plus I’d hate to imagine the overdraft charges.”



The “Fearless Girl” statue that has been in Manhattan’s Financial District for the last year is being relocated closer to the NYSE in the hopes that it will continue to promote gender diversity.

Originally the statue was placed opposite of Wall Street’s “Charging Bull” by Ad Agency McCann, on behalf of their client State Street Global Advisors.

Before you offer kudos, keep in mind that State Street settled a discrimination lawsuit just months after the statue was erected. *Cringe*

Despite the black eye, reports indicate that over 150 women have been assigned to company boards since the installation.

Water Cooler Talking Point: “It’s nice to see that what could have been a massive PR nightmare for State Street turned into a viral rallying point that impacted change in corporate culture.”




  • Mattel CEO Margo Georgiadis is leaving the toy maker to join Ancestry after only a year in charge.
  • Lyft announced initiatives to make its rides “carbon neutral.”
  • Former Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer is returning with the launch of Lumi Labs, a consumer media and AI startup. They’re hiring!
  • Philip Morris plunged the most in a decade due to decreased sales of cigarettes. Apparently, people wanna live that Vape Life.
  • Cryptocurrency exchange, Kraken, has decided it will not comply with the NY Attorney General’s request to operate with additional transparency.
  • US indices were down yesterday:
    • DOW: -0.34%
    • S&P 500: -0.57%
    • NASDAQ: -0.78%