Paulina Gretzky Sounds Off On Trolls Trashing Dustin Johnson In His Instagram Post

I don’t think I’m in the minority here when I say that if you and I were handed a million dollars each, we’d immediately quit our jobs. This blogging thing is cool but you know what’s cooler? Getting shitcocked and making it rain at an Olive Garden all-you-can-eat lunch buffet.

In that same vein, it’s mighty hypocritical for people to shame Dustin Johnson for opting out of the Olympics to spend time with his 11/10 wife after pulling in $1.8 million by winning the U.S. Open just 49 days ago. It’s preposterous to expect the man to go to Rio just to contract Zika and shower in shit water when he can be slapping skins on the open water with one of the hottest in the game.

So when DJ posted a photo of he and his wife having a delightful time on a lake, an army of trolls took shots at him for ‘bitching out’ of the Olympics. Paulina, who has yet to bark in the comment section of her posts, lashed out at these dudes in a rant that is equal parts hot as it is spot on.

We all need a Paulina Gretzky in our corner. Feisty. Ferocious. Fucking hot.

P.S. I give it before the end of the summer until DJ and Paulina physically have sex in the comment section.

Go jerk off, DJ. We did the same. To your wife. You can’t expect us to be sorry.

[h/t Barstool]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.