Well goddamn. That took a turn for the best. Typically I’d feel for a dude who just shattered his sternum on a pole that has absolutely no business being in the middle of a lake, but Man Bun delivered such a perfect toss that dropping it allowed me to be satisfied with the results. There is absolutely no way that pole was there before the beer slipped through his fingers–the universe constructed it immediately after this piss poor performance as punishment for smearing the Bro name. The Bro Gods are fickle motherfuckers. Harsh, but fair.
P.S. When you released from the hospital in 6-8 months, please turn in your Bro Card. Doctor’s orders bruh.