Can Someone Please Explain This Temple University Student’s Ridiculous E-mail?

by 5 years ago


Hey Brandon,

Since you like Philly sports, I thought I'd reach out to you. I used to party a lot up PSU. One time I drank a whole bottle of Everclear besides the last shot.

Back to business. What makes me even more special than this Frank the Tank drinking ability? Well I prefer to jerk off about 20 minutes before getting into the shower. If you jerk off in the shower one of those after-cum (as a pose to pre-cum) will flop out while you are wiping your body with a towel (a towel that will later be used to wipe your face). Who wants a cummy face? Not I said the cat. Guy guide?

You know who's a really hot girl? This girl:

You know how I really realized who my friends are? The word THOUGHTFULNESS. Aye nigga my whole life I was like hey girl you got a friend for my homie. Wassup girl, how bout you and your girls come over I'll invite my boys. Hey bitch fuck you I ain't coming out it's my mans birthday. But then I realize these MFs don't give a shit. They're instead like na come alone. Peace Rey fuck you. Girl I love you fuck my friend Rey. Bro Code?

And that's how it ends. All I know is this guy once guzzled a whole bottle of Everclear and has very thought-out masturbation methods. Bro… You didn't even drop one Philly sports mention, not even a Darryl Dawkins or Reggie White shout-out. Pathetic. You got me all hyped to talk Philly love, yet you rushed into some nasty story about your jerk-off methodolgy. 

Be careful who you're eating next to at J and H cafeteria, Temple kids. 


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