Protip: Watch This UCF Kappa Delta Sorority Video In Your Locked Bedroom With A Moist Towelette
I hate that I love these videos. I watched this one from UCF’s Kappa Delta sorority three times. Loved it more with each successive time. Will probably watch it once more with the door locked when I get home tonight.
Why do I hate myself for liking it? Well, I’d hate myself regardless, but I think it’s because they are so contrived. Like do they expect us to believe they are having just SOooOoO much fun doing cartwheels on the lawn and laying in a circle together giggling like the grass doesn’t itch? Grass fucking itches, brah.
And there is undoubtedly at least two of those girls that all the others absolutely HATE, but when the camera’s rolling they act like Linda is one of them. Linda, they probably hate you because you’re the only person under the age of 55 named Linda, Linda. Ya, it’s petty I know but just because your sorority is doing pyramids on the beach and over-laughing at your shitty jokes, doesn’t mean that Alexa hasn’t turned the whole chapter against you for stealing one of her Chobani’s back in February.
I love these videos and I hope there are an infinite amount more, but I’d love a sorority to release a video that depicts what goes on on an idle Tuesday behind closed doors. Maybe without a hot Ellie Goulding remix playing in the background. Possibly a pan-out shot of Christina (aka X-tina) plunging a mammoth dump out of the toilet after Chipotle.
Or just making videos of beautiful, smiling girls doing outdoor activities is cool too.
Stay there. Forever.
Hey, would either of you girls consider possibly going on a casual date with me?
K. I’ll just be over here masturbating with the lights off and the curtains shut. I hate myself.