Today is April 1st, which means I rolled out of bed this morning and did what I do every time a new month rolls around: blast some Bone Thugs-N-Harmony on repeat.
A tradition unlike any other.
Once that was out of the way, I began my daily journey around the internet to help bring you the content you crave and came across a disproportionate number of stories that seem too weird to be true before realizing the reason why: it’s April Fools’ Day.
It’s virtually impossible to navigate the internet on April Fools’ Day without getting Fake Newsed at some point, and while I enjoy a good goof every now and then, there’s only so many pranks I can take before I start to go insane.
As a result, I’ve decided to do everyone a solid by rounding up a bunch of April Fools’ Day stunts so you don’t look like an idiot for earnestly sharing a link to a fake story.
You can thank me later.
McDonald’s won’t be selling milkshakes as a condiment even though they totally should
The BBC isn’t letting people skip through sex scenes
Google hasn’t invented a talking flower (at least not yet)
Roku hasn’t invented a remote your dog can use
Petco isn’t doing weddings now
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Leopard print koalas don’t exist
Honda isn’t selling a car that people would definitely buy if given the chance
Timex isn’t adding a 25th hour to the day
Tinder isn’t actually making people verify their height (and short dudes everywhere breathed a sigh of relief)
REEF (sadly) isn’t making a fanny pack for your sandals
Bear Grylls is not going to space with a bunch of kids
SodaStream isn’t letting you carbonate water by burping
Mr. Potato Head isn’t getting replaced by an avocado
Of course, these are just some of the many pranks making their way around the internet today so remember: if it sounds too good (or too dumb) to be true, it probably is.