Colorado Mascot ‘Chip The Buffalo’ Point-Blank Shooting Himself In The Sack With A T-Shirt Gun Is Internet 2.0

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Talk to me when I’m 40 or 50 or 60, it will never change: if I see a video about a mascot getting castrated by a t-shirt gun, I’m clicking. Ya know what, I think when I get my affairs in order, I’m going to have my loved ones play this video for me during my last breath. A little levity during my final moments would do the soul good.

The mascot featured in the video below is Colorado’s Chip the Buffalo. Chip was attempting to launch a t-shirt into the stands, but instead murdered all his future children. I’ve been doing this blogging thing for three years and have seen some very funny videos (not to brag), but very few send me laughing until I snort. This was one of them, and if you don’t do the same, you’re not invited to my birthday party.

So simple, yet so devastating, and so goddamn satisfying.

It gets better.

Chip the Buffalo and his ballsack the size of a grapefruit needed to be carted off the field.

Chip eventually pulled an Aaron Rodgers and returned to the sidelines later in the game for Colorado’s 45-14 win over New Hampshire. All’s well that ends well I guess.

[h/t Deadspin]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.