Corona Unveils ‘Corona Premier,’ A Light Beer With Only 90 Calories Per Bottle

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Last weekend, for the first time in my 30 years on this great planet, I counted the contents of the beer I drank at a party–no, not in number of cans, but in calories. It was a monumentally discouraging moment in my illustrious and hazy drinking career. But, as my metabolism perpetually gets more and more lazy, and my clothes are starting to fit a bit more snug, it’s imperative to start an loose audit trail of my alcohol intake.

Now, I’m a drinker. My dad was a drinker. His dad was a drinker. So I will continue to drink, but, like in the commercials, I’d like to do it a bit more responsibly.

Corona has heard my call.

For the first time in 29 years, Corona has introduced its first line extension–Corona Premier.

Corona


Corona Premier is a superior light lager that contains only 2.6 carbs and 90 calories per bottle. So, if, lets say hypothetically, you took down an entire six pack on a sunny Saturday morning, you will be consuming about half the calories as a Chipotle burrito. And beers gives you a buzz, not the runs. To compare it to Corona’s other products, Extra contains 149 calories and Light contains 99.

After a “successful” consumer test, Premier has been made available nationwide. The beer is being marketed as the smoothest, most drinkable Corona with a fruit-honey aroma and a touch of malt. The beer is pleasantly balanced with a touch of sweetened and a clean, dry finish.

 

Constellation Brands, Corona’s parent company, is killing it right now. The company beat Wall Street’s profit expectations for the ninth straight quarter due to higher margins and its stock has climbed about 36 percent in 2017.

I got nothing going on tonight, I may pick myself up a case or seven.

 

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.