Sylvester The Squirrel Getting Hammered Off Of Fermented Pears Brought Major Holiday Weekend Vibes

Drunk Squirrel

Behind every drunken escapade, at its root, is the fermentation process. For this squirrel, it is no exception.

Fermentation, on its most basic level, is the process by which a substance breaks down into a simpler substance. Microorganisms like yeast and bacteria usually play a large role in the exercise, and use carbohydrates (glucose) for energy and fuel. From there, chemicals like ATP deliver that energy throughout the cell. Along the way, as the glucose is transformed, it creates oxygen that causes the foaming you might see in the creation of alcohol, and the process aids in the creation of what gets you drunk. I got a solid C+ in Biology 103, so that could be completely off-track and inaccurate, but we’re rolling with it.

ANYWAY… fermented products like Kombucha, for example, could foreseeably get you drunk if you have a nonexistent tolerance and consume a large amount of the drink in a short amount of time. This squirrel learned that lesson the hard way, and it’s a huge mood. We’ve all been gorging ourselves with copious amounts of food and drink over the long Thanksgiving holiday weekend, and our squirrel friend, who we will name Sylvester, unintentionally did the same.

This nice man, who was just trying to help out the homies, left some old pears out on his back porch for the squirrels. Sylvester wandered over to get him some grub and was quickly sent into a drunken stupor. It seems as though the pears had gone through the fermentation process and left the little dude absolutely wrecked.

I feel you, Sylvester. Just don’t lay down or the spins will get you good.




Grayson Weir avatar
Associate Editor at BroBible covering all five major sports and every niche sport imaginable, found primarily in the college space. I don't drink coffee, I wake up jacked.