Joe Montana Saying Rudy Ruettiger Was More Of A Punchline Than An Inspiration In Real Life Is A Threat To American Values

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“If it sounds too good to be true, it is.” 

This is why the Hot Singles In Your Area banner only gives your computer a virus and I’m still waiting on my return of investment from the prince of Nigeria.

It is with a heavy heart I must re-circulate the saddening news that the titular character in one of the most inspiring sports films of all-time is less of an inspiration than a punchline to those who suited up with the 5’6” defensive end.

Don’t take it from me, take it from a Notre Dame legend who played with the real Ruettiger in the mid-70s.

Joe Montana appeared on the Pardon My Take podcast this week and delivered a crotch-shot to short unathletic guys worldwide.

Here’s Rudy getting carried off by the three O’Doyle brothers who probably ran his jock strap up a flag pole the night before.

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In 2010, Montana told The Dan Patrick Show that while Rudy worked his ass off to secure a roster spot, he worked “no harder than anyone else.”

When news broke in 2011 about Rudy’s securities fraud pump-and-dump scheme, I intentionally scoffed and dismissed the news like a military father hearing his son wants to go to culinary school.

This was a misguided defense mechanism used to re-enforce my longstanding belief of Rudy as an American icon, because sometimes preserving the lie is more important to the betterment of society than uncovering the truth. 

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Me watching the final scene in Rudy knowing Montana wouldn’t let the poor bastard into his kegger that night.

“Ruuudy, Ruuudy,” I chant softly while starting down the barrel of a shotgun.