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We’ve come across our fair share of amusing viral obituaries while working on the world wide web. Like this Bills fan who took one last shot at his perpetually pathetic team in his obit. Or this Irish man who died of “stubbornness and whiskey.” Or, if you want to go a bit darker, feast your eyes on this scathing obituary written about a Minnesota woman that claims she abandoned her children and “the world is a better place without her.”
Let’s turn the mood a little sunnier with this newly viral first-person obituary penned by a Canadian women named Sybil Hicks who died at 81, leaving behind five children and a loving husband. Check it out in all its glory below:
The last word. Obit in today’s @TheSpec “I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted…having been cremated.” pic.twitter.com/YQFOjRJjL8
— Jim Poling (@PolingRecord) February 5, 2019
The meat and potatoes of the obituary has been transcribed below:
It hurts me to admit it…but I, Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away. I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side February 2, 2019 at 8:20 am.
I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately refer to as a “Horse’s Ass”.
I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob (with Carol) my eldest son and also my favorite. Brian (with Ginette) who was the Oreo cookie favorite, Brenda AKA “Hazel” who would run to clean the bathrooms when she heard company was coming. Barbara (with Gordon) the ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldn’t eat homemade turkey soup because he didn’t want to be alert for bones while he ate.
…
I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted…having been cremated.
Please come say goodbye and celebrate my wonderful life with my husband and his special friend Dorothy who is now lovingly taking care of my horse’s ass.
For those who are wondering who assisted me in writing this…It wasn’t my husband, it wasn’t my oldest, nor was it my youngest.
Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and back.
Love, Sybil.
I can only hope to have a sense of humor about my impending death.
P.S. BRUCE FOR THE WIN!
