A 69-year-old man has filed a petition to have his age changed to 49. The reason: He wants to hook up with more women on Tinder. Why doesn’t he just lie like everyone else on Tinder?
Emile Ratelband was born on March 11, 1949, but he feels like he is 20 years younger. Ratelband is an entrepreneur and self-help guru who hails from the Netherlands. “When I’m on Tinder and say, ‘I’m 69, I don’t get an answer,'” claims Emile. Maybe, just maybe, it isn’t his age that is turning off women?
So to up his right swipes, Ratelbrand is asking the courts to roll back his date of birth 20 years. But before you question his logic for the age change, let’s hear him out. I’m sure he has some ironclad reasoning for deserving to lie about his age to everyone. “I have done a check-up and what does it show? My biological age is 45 years,” Ratelband claims. Narrator: It’s not.
“When I’m 69 (nice), I am limited,” Emile says. “If I’m 49, then I can buy a new house, drive a different car. I can take up more work.” Narrator: He can buy a new house at any age and drive a different car at any age. If we’re being honest here, there are plenty of women who attempt to deceive people about their age with botox, facelifts, boob jobs, butt implants, and all kinds of plastic surgery.
The bigots rejected his petition to identify as a 20-years younger version of himself. Now the 69-year-old is suing his local authority to change his birth certificate. I respect Emile’s desire to be happy. I too want to change my birth certificate because I identify as a 67-year-old so that I can get some of that sweet social security before it runs out.
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Mr. Ratelband has some reasoning as to why he should be able to alter his age all willy-nilly. “Transgenders can now have their gender changed on their birth certificate, and in the same spirit there should be room for an age change,” he said. The court in the city of Arnhmen in the eastern Dutch province of Gelderland is scheduled to rule on this decision in the next month.
Is Emile unaware that there is already a fountain of youth for men of advanced age? It’s called a fat bank account with lots of zeros. For some younger women, as long as you have a big bank account they will not care about your age and want to be with you. It doesn’t even matter if you are 93-years-old and have one foot in the grave, in fact, they prefer it that way.