Culture

Mask Mandate Likened To Abuse, Chemotherapy, And Sacrilege At Raucous Alabama Schools Meeting

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@MCmuckraker / Twitter


  • Birmingham parents are not happy with the public schools’ recent mask mandate, if clips from the recent meeting are any indication.
  • One woman announced she’ll be pulling her daughter out of school, while another equated wearing a mask to receiving chemotherapy as a precaution to cancer.
  • U-S-A!

In the span of one week, I listened to Joe Rogan’s heartbreaking interview with North Korean defector Yeonmi Park and watched footage of Afghans falling from U.S. military planes in an attempt to escape the Taliban.

Whatever problems I delude myself into having seem laughable with just one ounce of perspective, and if you’re as lucky as I am and and you’re still waving your fist to strangers on Twitter about what-have-you, you may be in need of a re-calibration.

Let’s use this recent Birmingham Board of Education meeting as a point of reference.

The meeting—which was originally called after the board and superintendent announced that students, staff, and teachers will be required to wear masks indoors for the start of the school year—quickly devolved into chaos.

In my opinion, the parents have a leg to stand on here, but the cartoonish lengths they go to prove it give me a case of the Karen Creeps, for which there is no vaccine.

  • “Forced mask mandates for something that has an almost 0 percent chance of killing them is child abuse.”
  • “Imagine if there was a 99.7% chance you would not get cancer, but you were still forced to get chemo just in case. Doesn’t that sound absurd?”
  • “Oxygen is imperative for brain development.”

  • “Our children will never see the freedoms we enjoyed growing up. They are not even free to breathe fresh air. If God wanted us to cover our mouth and nose, he would have made us that way.”

  • “It is like asking us to go to a place that is abusing her and being like, ‘Oh well, that’s the only way I can go. I guess it’s okay.”

According to the Metro Times, police are also investigating a man who flashed a Nazi salute and chanted “Heil Hitler” during the meeting. Two men behind him repeated the phrase.

Ok this isn’t funny anymore.

Bye.

 

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.
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